Heart of the Storm
by AstraGalactic
Summary: When Thor is banished to Earth, instead of Jane, he meets a woman with an extremely dark past, and severe trust issues, as well as some unusual abilities.  Can he help her overcome her fears or will they lead to tragedy when she realizes he is not human?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: THOR is not mine.

A/N: Aella in Greco-Roman mythology was an Amazon killed defending her queen from Hercules, but the name means whirlwind, which seems appropriate to the character. Also the song referenced is "Indestructible" by Disturbed, great song – which I also do not own.

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Dark eyes scanned over the array of instruments she had set up to monitor her abode for intruders – and as usual found nothing amiss. It still never stopped her from entering her home tense enough to jump at the slightest sound, until verifying that no-one had been there – and that no-one was watching her.

Feeling unexpectedly weary, Aella sank into the beat up armchair and tried –unsuccessfully - to calm her racing heart. Frustrated, she muttered: "You're going to give yourself a heart attack, idiot – and all for nothing. No-one is coming for you."

Perhaps if she repeated the words long enough, she would start to believe them. At any rate it had been six years since she had defeated that last of them, taken up a new identity and moved to the outskirts of a tiny town in New Mexico, and no-one else had come for her, but the tension in her never entirely faded away.

Tired of dwelling on a past that could not be changed, she got to her feet and set one of her favorite songs to repeat while she sparred with her punch-sack, raining down kicks and punches of every variety in rhythm with the music.

_Another mission, the powers have called me away,_

_another time to carry my colors again,_

_my motivation, an oath I've sworn to defend:_

_to win the honor of coming back home again_

_No explanation will matter once we begin,_

_unearth the dark destroyer that's buried within,_

_my true vocation – and now my unfortunate friend,_

_you'll discover a war you're unable to win._

_I'll have you know that I've become _

_**indestructible **_

…

Half an hour later she was definitely feeling better. Heart hammering from the exertion, she felt calmer inside than she had for days, in part due to the fact this song did not let her dwell on past losses, in part because as she pushed herself to keep going, she was reminded that she had indeed learned to defend herself, and if they did come for her, she would not go down without a hell of a fight.

50 minutes…. 55 minutes… 60 minutes. Finally she stopped, dropping to her hands and knees as the world tilted and spun around her. Each time she did this she pushed herself to last a little longer, determined to reach the maximum stamina the human body was capable of, and each time it seemed like she had reached that limit, still never stopped her from pushing harder the next time.

When she felt able to stand again, she turned off the music and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water drum against her back while she enjoyed the peace left in the wake of her exertion. Perhaps there was something to be said for endorphins after all.

Stepping out, she looked into the full length mirror as she dried off, and felt a glimmer of arrogance spark in her as she twisted and admired the lean toned muscles beneath her skin, lyrics from the song racing through her mind. Yes, she thought, come and get me – if you can…. I've become indestructible…

The latticework of fading scars covering her back and some of her torso reminded her that she was far from indestructible. Even with all the hand to hand fighting skills she had learned, all it would take was a single bullet to kill her, a single lapse of attention on her part, and it was these reflections that led her to wonder if she should exercise the other 'talent' she had been born with, perfect her ability to control it just as she worked on her physical training.

Then she shook her head forcefully, reminding herself aloud:

"No, that's what got you here… never again."

Stepping into clean jeans and a black tee she reminded herself that she had chosen to live as a normal human, and hope that life would let her spend the rest of her days as one.

For six years it had worked, why change anything now?

Seconds later an alarm started screaming out the warning for abnormal electromagnetic effects.

Aella picked up her bug-sweeper and tried to locate what had to be a bug, confounded when her search for peak signal led her to an exterior wall of her house. Confounded as to how she was even able to detect a bug outside a concrete-metal-mesh wall that she had designed to keep signals out, she viewed the original data and was shocked at the strength of the electromagnetic wave that was apparently coming from the sky about 60 miles from central Puente Antiguo – literally in the middle of nowhere.

She could not see anything in the sky yet, but at those wavelengths it would have to be visible soon, so exact coordinates were irrelevant.

Grabbing a coat and her emergency black leather satchel containing weapons, emergency cash, fake IDs, and a couple MREs, she slammed the door behind her and raced out into the darkness at her motorcycle's top speed. Whatever this was she planned to meet it head on.

Fifteen minutes later she had stopped in awe as the sky burst into a rainbow of colors. Then she cautiously backed away from what she could only describe as the cross between a tornado-in-reverse and the aurora borealis which drilled into the ground with an unearthly howl.

Just as suddenly as it came the light and the funnel cloud disappeared into the sky, and Aella let out the breath she had been holding, only to have it catch in her throat as she realized that the silence was broken by the ragged breathing of another. Looking through her infrared vision goggles she could see another person kneeling with a hand pressed to his abdomen…. and she knew that before whatever this was, the field had been empty for miles, she had checked.

The figure got to his feet somewhat unsteadily, and she could hear him calling out for a hammer – a hammer! of all things – as if he expected IT to respond.

Deciding that was enough, the man was probably not going to be a threat to her if he was having conversations with hardware, Aella put away the goggles and picked up her flashlight, switching it on to get a better look at him and let him know she was there.

He immediately turned to look at her, seeming a lot less surprised than she would have been in his situation, and Aella swallowed hard at what she had to admit was the most impressive man she had ever seen before. The blonde radiated strength all over, but it was his eyes that caught her, they were bluer than any she had ever seen before – electric blue, and in them was something decidedly not human.

His stance had stiffened for a moment as he apparently sized her up, then he turned away and continued his frustrated pacing, now directing his words to the sky:

"Father! Heimdall, I know you can hear me. Open the Bifrost!"

Aella's brows reached her hairline. Something in the words he was using tugged at her memory, but she could not connect them to anything, so as things stood she would have been less surprised if he had started calling for nails next, or maybe pliers.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: THOR is not mine.

…

…

Stopping his pacing, he turned to Aella who had just noticed the strange patterns that the funnel cloud had burned into the earth, and demanded:

"What realm is this? Alfheim? Nornheim"

Completely confused, Aella replied, deadpan: "Uh, say again?"

The blonde looked at her as if she was retarded, but seemed willing to explain when suddenly his attention shifted to a spot behind her, and realizing that he saw someone else, Aella spun around, leveling her flashlight at the newcomer and suppressing a flash of fear and rage as the light glinted off a gun that was in his partially-raised hand.

The fear ebbed away instantly as she realized this was no professional, just a petty thief with inclinations toward violence who thought she was an easy mark. Aella could see how someone would get that first impression about her, but not the tall muscular blonde who had stepped to her side. Then she realized, oh yeah, our wannabe robber probably thinks he's crazy – or drop-dead drunk.

Speaking of drunk, the robber probably was a few sheets to the wind himself as he bawled out – in a tone that might have been commanding if not for the slurring of his words:

"Hand it over, wench and nobody's goanna get hurt."

Clearly, he was referring to Aella's emergency pack – which she was not about to give up, but she never got the chance to reply because the blonde answered first:

"That is no way to speak to a maiden. Apologize for your behavior at once!"

Aella's brows went even higher than before. Sure she had wanted to break the man's jaw for insulting her, but the bigger problem here was that the guy had a gun, and she suspected that he was more likely to use it than sit and have a lengthy discussion about his behavior towards a "maiden" – and who used that term anymore anyway?

Not surprisingly the robber's face contorted into a manic grin and he stepped closer. What was surprising was that the blonde quickly pulled Aella behind him as he stepped forward to stand between the robber and her. From there everything quickly fell apart.

Aella tensed to move as she heard the gun cocking and knew it had been leveled at her would-be protector, but judging from the confidence with which he stepped in front of her, she assumed he knew he could handle the situation. His next words, odd as they were seemed to confirm her assumption, as well as the indignation in his voice:

"You dare threaten me, Thor, with so puny a weapon!"

This time she actually smiled at his words – what exactly would have been a dangerous enough weapon for his tastes, a tank? because as far as she was concerned, guns were plenty deadly enough. Then a wave of horror washed over he as she realized that the blonde did not realize how much danger he was in. He was standing like a wall in front of her, protecting her from the obvious danger of being beat up by the robber, and not planning to move at all any time soon.

It was almost a second too late when action caught up with thought and she dropped the flashlight and sidestepped, throwing herself into the blonde's side with as much force as she could in the same instant that the robber pulled the trigger. It almost was not enough, and Aella felt pain tear though her upper right arm, but there was no time to stop and consider, instead she rolled forward, slamming a heel as hard as possible into the robber's knee snapping it like a twig, and then followed up with a kick to the head as he pitched forward, all before he had the time to fire another shot.

Taking a deep calming breath she got to her knees and retrieved the flashlight, setting it to radiate dim light from the handle, then turned to make sure her attempted protector had not been harmed.

To her relief, he was apparently unharmed, now sitting up and regarding her with a new appreciation. Frustration and bafflement took over relief when he smiled at her and said in a tone of genuine appreciation:

"You are truly a fierce warrior, fair maiden."

Ugh, back with the fair maiden – seriously who talked like that in the 21st century? – and then there was that whole issue with the "puny weapon".

Her arm was throbbing now, and though she realized the bullet had only grazed her, it still hurt. It was immature, she knew but anger won over confusion and she snapped back:

"Stop with the fair maiden crap, will you!"

He seemed genuinely confused by her reaction, and a little hurt, replying: "I meant no disrespect."

From his tone it was clear to Aella that he was only behaving as he felt was proper, not being cynical or flattering, but she was on a roll now, and the action of digging up the rope and duck-tape from the bottom of her pack was becoming painful, so she pressed on, still angry:

"puny weapon.. PUNY weapon? what were you thinking?"

Whatever his response might have been it was cut off when he noticed the slight hiss of pain at the end of her rant, and instantly he was kneeling by her side, concern lacing his voice as he took her hands in his own and asked:

"You have been injured. How severe is it? Do you require the assistance of a healer?"

His tone was urgent, concerned, and through the contact with him – though she was not trying to read it, Aella could feel his concern. It was one of the most genuine emotions she had ever felt from another person, and suddenly it was impossible to be angry at him. Knowing she should answer, she replied, tone gentle now:

"It's just a graze, very minor really."

Pulling her hands away, she moved the light closer so he could see the injury, and apparently he agreed with her assessment of it not being serious enough to require a "healer", but still felt regretful that she had received it at all.

Regret laced his tone as he said, his voice now quiet:

"I'm sorry…. I did not realize… What I said provoked him, and if that had hit you elsewhere, it could have killed you."

Aella was shocked yet again. Obviously the man had no idea what a gun was, but was educated enough to have figured out already how the weapon operated – however that was possible. She still managed to reply in what approximated a conversational tone:

"Or you… Either way, don't blame yourself, I was not about to comply with his demands, and he likely would have shot at me no matter what. Apparently he's no dove."

Apparently that last statement was taken literally, because Aella could see the gears turning in his head as he looked at the unconscious robber for a few puzzled seconds and then looked back at her, saying in a tone so serious it was downright comical:

"A dove he most certainly is not."

At that Aella could not help it any longer, and she burst out laughing harder than she had in years, finally managing to choke out between laughs:

"It's an expression."

Her companion simply shrugged, and then added in a tone that was far from humorous:

"I still am sorry that you are injured…if only I had a healing stone."

Aella's laughter died abruptly as she asked, certain she must have misheard: "A healing stone?"

Noticing his expression, she added quickly:

"Uh, never mind."

It was at that time that the robber decided to join the world of the conscious again, but did not stay in it for long since as soon as he managed a twitch, Aella's left fist came down on his head.

Ignoring her highly amused companion, Aella set to work with rope and duck tape tying up the robber securely – and his unloaded gun, along with a note to the local police informing them anonymously of the crime he had attempted to commit, and her suspicion that he might have done similar a town away, as well as a recommendation to check ballistics evidence from those victims against his gun.

It was somewhere in the course of the ensuing repetitive taping that everything clicked together. Back before her life had been destroyed, when she had just discovered her inborn ability, she had turned to reading the myths of the world to try to explain what science could not, and modern religion dismissed as impossible or plain evil. Her new companion said his name was THOR – just like the Thor of Norse mythology, and now remembering that connection she recognized words like Bifrost and Heimdall. Of course that led to the more problematic realization that this Thor seemed to think they were real, which led to the even more problematic realization that the hammer he was calling for might very well be Thor's Hammer in Norse Mythology – ah yes, it was called Mjolnir – which could very possibly mean that this man sitting next to her believed that he was that Thor – the God of Lightning and Thunder…. Or more likely he was pulling the world's most ill-conceived con.

But that was not really the more likely was it? In his emotions she had detected no trace of deceit – an absence which was decidedly not normal human psychology. Of course she could have simply missed it as she was not really trying to read him, but it seemed unlikely.

Unable to find any answers herself, and extremely unsettled by the fact that uncharacteristically she did not know what to do, she instead sifted through the memory of those readings for an answer to a question he asked earlier, breaking the silence with a flat statement of fact:

"You are on Midgard – Earth as we call it now."

Thor only sighed, and Aella pressed on:

"But who are you.. And why use mythological terms?"

It seemed like Thor would have answered, but then thought better of it and only replied, resignation in his tone:

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

Aella concluded with a statement, not a question:

"You are not human."

Thor only nodded in response, and a chill ran down Aella's spine. She wanted to trust him – everything about him engendered trust, but it only made the cautious part of her mind more wary. Her trust in a human had almost gotten her killed, her trust had been repaid with betrayal and torture. And if this Thor was not human, either he was much better , and exactly as guileless as he appeared– or much much worse, and a psychological weapon designed to earn her trust and then betray her….

None of this even covered the possibility that he was human – or something created by humans who sought to harm her again… and though her instincts were to take a leap of faith and trust him…. after what had happened the last time she had trusted someone, she was permanently out of faith.

Reaching into her satchel again, she moved to crouch beside Thor who was still kneeling, and said to him, her voice transitioning from honesty to bitterness:

"My instinct says to trust you. My life has taught me that trust is a fatal flaw…. and I have learned never to take chances. I'm sorry."

Realization washed over Thor, as both sympathy for her burden and wariness crossed his features, but before he had the chance to tell her that he meant no harm, she moved the hand that was concealed within her bag, and a burning pain ripped though his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: THOR is not mine.

Thanks for reviewing to: musician'sluck2010!

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Aella ended up holding the trigger on the taser longer than she had intended. Her plan had been to only paralyze him and then mine his still-conscious mind for some answers. Instead she found that the expression of shock and betrayal in his blue eyes made her feel too guilty to focus, and though it partially gave way to a flash of anger followed by profound confusion – presumably because she caught him as he fell, slowing his fall to the ground – it still made her heart ache in an odd unfamiliar way.

The alternative was inconvenient to say the least. It was easy to 'read' a conscious mind; prominent thoughts and emotions of the present simply flowed across the link she created without the other person having any idea of what she was doing. It was equally easy to tap into any memories that said mind was recollecting, and by extension any memories with strong emotional links to their present.

By contrast an unconscious mind was an almost impossible to navigate quagmire of partially-formed thoughts, with little concrete memory to be gleaned from it, and worst of all, the three times she had ventured into the human subconscious had been nothing short of depressing and terrifying because while thought and memory were indistinct, brought into the light were all the dark corners of the soul – every base drive, every ounce of hate and spite that normal people suppressed… and though Aella was fully aware that she had more than her share of these dark facets, there was a reason they were well hidden in the subconscious. Each time she had to face them in the light of day, a little more of her threadbare faith in humanity –including herself - eroded away.

Still, it would answer a few questions about Thor, and she decided that as long as his subconscious had no more dark facets than any normal person, she would extend trust to him – though after what she had done, it was doubtful that he would **want** to trust her.

Pushing aside her irritation at the fact that for some reason with Thor she was not able to follow her usual principle of not giving a crap about how other people viewed her, Aella placed one hand on his forehead and the other over his chest, closing her eyes and letting Thor's subconscious engulf her.

Nothing in her life could have prepared her for what she found. Usually she would fall into darkness, lit by faded hazy hopes and dreams and haunted by isolation, envy, and hate. Instead she found herself in the midst of a lightning storm – a fact that ironically put her at ease since she had always loved those. Except, she reflected, it was not really a storm. There was no wind or rain – and the lightning was not coming in flashes across cold and darkness, instead it was constantly arcing around her, coming close enough where she could feel it tingle but not do damage. Thunder thrummed like a heartbeat, comforting instead of deafening. Perhaps even stranger than the 'weather' for lack of a better term - was the overwhelming comforting emotional warmth that surrounded her.

Pushing aside the indistinct – and very unusual subconscious, she looked for any partially formed thoughts that were in his mind.

There were flickers of a faded anger and a more fresh sense of loneliness.

A more tangible and recent thought that Aella could discern was a brief wish that he had Mjolnir in his hands – coupled with a vague memory of wielding the heavy weapon and smashing some big blue heads – coupled with a momentary feeling of anger and betrayal that was dominated by confusion.

Ah, so those had to be from when she had tased him – well, everything except the big blue heads – a fleeting image that confused Aella beyond belief and only served to pique her curiosity more. She found fleeting subconscious images of which she could only comprehend a few: a starry sky filled with galaxies, a glassy bridge that shone with rainbows and an ocean that dumped into space –none of which were any less weird than the big blue guys, though they were **much** more aesthetically pleasing. Oddly she did not find any discernible images of Mjolnir, though she heard Thor wishing for it by name, and felt the very prominent-in-his-subconscious sensation of holding it in his hand, quietly humming with unimaginable power.

Okay – so he definitely was not human – the miserably few indistinct images she could actually make some sense of were not from Earth…. or anywhere near it. That should have been disturbing, but it was dwarfed by the shocking realization that came from turning back to Thor's subconscious with all her guards down to look for the dark facets that just had to exist – and did not.

There was not even a trace of deceit or hate in Thor, and the faint emotions of loss and loneliness found no ground within him to fester and become bitterness and spite. For the first time, Aella found the experience of reaching into a subconscious mind healing to her own scarred soul, and finished with her search, she simply stood still within the heart of the storm letting his lightning fight back the darkness and bitterness that had engulfed most of her life.

...

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A/N: You didn't think I was going to have her kill him :-O , did you?

Next chapter, Thor is going to wake up... Hm that might be a bit odd.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N: Set after the end of Ironman 1, and before the beginning of Ironman 2

Thanks for reviewing to:Avrice the Demigod, and Evenlight!

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Aella was startled back into reality by what felt like a tingle of electricity on her skin, and opened her eyes just in time to see a meteor crash into the Earth with enough force that the ground shook. She wanted to find out exactly what it was, wondering if its arrival had something to do with Thor's, but the still-unconscious Thor before her brought her pause.

It was ironic that she had been so worried about his intentions that she had not thought for a second about what would happen after she found the answers she sought.

Remembering the flash of anger and his wish for Mjolnir, she wondered if it was best to walk away and never look back, but the thought only accentuated the guilt she felt – for betraying the trust Thor had so freely given her.

Unable to resist the urge to run her fingers through his golden hair, Aella sighed, regretful that she had finally met a person – likely the only person who did not have even a whisper of deceit in them – and he was the only person she had ever hurt without reason, the only person she had ever betrayed.

So she stayed by his side, unsure of what to say to him in explanation for her actions, unsure of what would happen when he awoke, unable to tear herself away even as she felt his mind start to stir into consciousness, and the initial confusion and disorientation gave way to a blend of anger, betrayal and confusion.

Anything she might have been planning to say vaporized the moment his electric blue eyes opened and fixed on her, the look alone demanding an explanation, and unsurprisingly her silence did not provide one as within seconds, he had her in a chokehold.

Aella did not resist his hold, not wishing to fight him, and she did not need to since he was not actually holding tight enough to interfere with her breathing. It relieved her to know that the anger and hurt had faded away, and now confusion and wariness were the predominant emotions in his mind.

When Thor spoke, his tone was stern, but not angry:

"I would know the reasons for your action."

Aella sighed, unsurprised by the question, but unsure how to answer, finally settling on what sounded even to her like a pathetic attempt at evasion:

"I was afraid to trust you, afraid of your intentions. I had planned to leave while you were unconscious."

Thor prompted: "Yet you stayed. Why?"

She knew she owed him an explanation. Thor had trusted her and she had betrayed his trust. The least she could do was take the same leap of faith he had taken and tell him the truth, but after six years of hiding from the truth, she was still too afraid to do it. Instead she decided to search his conscious mind, hoping to find some hints as to how he might react to the truth.

Suddenly the arm around her throat tightened, enough to feel uncomfortable though still allowing her to breathe, and Thor's voice cut through her thoughts, suddenly extremely guarded and wary:

"What are you doing to me?"

Aella's heart slammed into her throat, and she could only gasp out, paralyzed by shock and fear:

"You could sense that?"

It seemed that Thor had noticed her fear and loosened his hold on her fractionally as he replied in a slightly softer tone:

"Yes, I felt your presence … touching the edge of my mind"

Even without searching in his mind, Aella could read his emotions, and utterly shocked by both his perception of her search and his apparent lack of anger, she sagged against him, letting his hold on her be her support, as she sighed resignedly:

"Then you know the answer to your question…. I actually had not planned as far ahead as I said. What I have … is sort of like an empathy thing, when I am in contact with a person I can feel their emotions with no effort. If I expend some energy I can hear their thoughts, and with a little more effort I can see their memories and show them mine if I will it…"

Taking a deep breath, and trying to calm her nerves, Aella pressed on:

"I'm sorry I tased you – more than words can express. I was afraid to trust you, whether or not I believed that you aren't human, so I had decided to paralyze you for long enough to read your thoughts and make a decision based on them…. I had never imagined you could sense it – no-one else ever has."

Struggling to make her explanation as reasonable as possible, and tired of trying to hide the truth, she amended helplessly:

"I ended up rendering you unconscious instead to do my search because I could see the betrayal in your eyes and it made me feel guilty…. not so I could do anything … bad. I know it sounds crazy, but…"

To her surprise, Thor dropped the arm that was around her throat to rest on her shoulders, and slid to his knees by her side, saying gently: "I believe you."

When Aella turned to look at Thor, shocked beyond words, she was met with a small but genuine smile, and all she could manage to say, more shaken by his willingness to forgive and trust her once more than she would have been by his anger, was:

"You are a strange one…"

His question caught her off guard again as he asked, with a surprising amount of vulnerability in his tone:

"Good strange or bad strange?"

It was now her turn to give a small smile as she gently assured him:

"Good strange… in fact, very good and very strange."

Thor actually chuckled at her choice of words, and Aella let herself laugh with him, noticing for the first time that he smelled of rain and ozone.

As the night grew colder, Aella got to her feet, extending a hand to Thor, saying in a tone she tried to keep light:

"It's getting cold and late, and if you do not have anyplace to stay in this world, realm, whatever, if you would like - and if you can still trust me - you can stay with me."

Thor accepted her offer, and her hand though he did not pull on her as he stood.

Together they walked towards her motorcycle, the silence only broken by Thor who asked in a completely casual tone:

"What manner of weapon is a tase?"

Aella could not help but smile at his choice of words – especially when she would have phrased the question more like 'what the hell did you hit me with anyway?' and replied while fishing the taser out of her pack again and handing it to Thor, handle first:

"It's called a taser, and it uses electricity to scramble nerve signals… see, if you press the trigger, you can see the arc."

Pointing it away from either of them, Thor did press the trigger, causing the trademark snapping and arcing across the terminals, then handed it back to her looking thoroughly unimpressed – a reaction which actually did not surprise Aella since compared with lightning, these arcs were rather pathetic.

When they reached her motorcycle, Thor eyed it skeptically, prompting Aella to search for an analogy that might help, finally settling on:

"That is a motorcycle, think of it as a replacement for a horse."

If it were possible, Thor eyed the device with even more scrutiny, but he was not deterred from accepting her invitation to climb up behind her, and Aella found herself feeling unusually lighthearted as she wrapped his arms around her and told him:

"You like speed? Hang on tight!"

With those words, they blasted off into the night.

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**1) Sorry I took so long to update... as for plot, things will still be slow in the story for a bit, but should become more interesting as we go along. I also hope these read okay... yawn.**

**2) ****Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Avrice the Demigod, and Evenlight.**

**Also, thanks for the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging**

**3) I own nothing...**

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When they finally reached her house – at a significantly more sane speed than on her way to the wormhole site, for lack of a better term – Aella was still feeling lighthearted enough to chuckle as they dismounted, and she asked: "Pretty cool, huh?"

Thor seemed momentarily confused, and realizing why, Aella added:

"Oh, right – cool is just a way of saying nice, uh, fun."

Thor nodded, and then replied to her original question with a small, genuine, but certainly not impressed smile:

"Ah, yes, it was… fun."

Noticing his hesitation, Aella asked, while mechanically going through the array of locks and alarm systems on her front door:

"Okay, so the speed, I assume was the nice part, what was the worst part?"

She half expected the normal response from anyone who had been on a motorcycle for the first time: the feeling of being almost bodily thrown from the seat at each turn and acceleration. Instead Thor replied almost sheepishly: "It sounds like a giant fly."

That shocked her so much she cracked up laughing, and finally managed to gasp out: "Ah, I'm afraid that's the price of speed."

Finally past her layered security, Aella led the way into her house, turning on the lights and for the first time in as long as she could remember, reflected that her home was far from welcoming, but pushed the thought firmly to the back of her mind, saying quickly:

"Well, this is my place, you can stay as long as you need…. sorry it's a bit, uhh…."

She trailed off as she checked the array of sensors she had set up, finding nothing unusual except for the electromagnetic disturbance that had led her to Thor, unable to suppress an involuntary flinch when suddenly Thor was right beside her, asking gently:

"You are very cautious, what happened to you?"

Forcing her breathing to calm, Aella turned to face him, trying to find the words to answer his question, and finally settled on:

"A lot – that I don't want to discuss."

Feeling suddenly guilty, for hiding the truth from him, even after all this, Aella added quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor:

"….it's not you, I've spent years running from my past, and facing it right now… is too much."

Aella raised her head, meeting his gaze when she felt Thor rest a comforting hand on her shoulder as he said gently:

"It's okay, I understand."

Swallowing hard, but feeling infinitely calmer and stronger in his presence, Aella simply replied: "Thank you.", an obvious response to his words, even though it was more for the sense of peace that his presence brought her.

At that moment, the gash on her arm decided to reassert its presence with a twinge, and she suddenly remembered that she had to treat it, and rest. In fact, on the topic of rest, Thor probably needed to rest – after all, he likely had a long day himself – so gathering her scattered thoughts, Aella showed him to a room – her former bedroom in fact, though with the dark blues and blacks it was so not-girly, it would be impossible to tell - letting him know that if he needed to rest he was welcome to use it.

She then gave him a rundown of the other features in her place, as well as an overview of how not to trigger the ear-splitting alarms that filled it, before eying his clothes critically and finally finishing with a sudden realization:

"Hm, you need civvies."

Remembering that Thor was unfamiliar with slang, she added:

"Clothes, like what people around town usually wear. You do not need to get their attention by standing out. I have some that should fit you. I'll bring them by tomorrow."

Realizing that she was, uncharacteristically jabbering, Aella left it at that, and bid Thor good night, letting him know that if he needed her, she would be in her garage.

Five steps away, Thor said gently but firmly:

"I would not take from a mai…"

Turning on her heel, Aella interrupted him, hoping the smile on her face would belie her tone: "Uh-uh, no maiden references, okay?... it just does not fit."

Fortunately, Thor seemed to get that despite her words she was not in fact offended, and simply finished: "… her chambers."

Caught between surprise that he had figured it out and amusement at his chivalry, Aella managed a little chuckle, replying:

"Actually, former chambers, I have not used them in two years, so as far as I'm concerned, they're unclaimed."

Thor seemed to believe her – unsurprisingly as he was exactly the type of person to look for the best in those around him, and give trust where she would feel doubt – and there was only simple curiosity in his tone when he asked her:

"Why?"

It was easy to be honest with him; at least as long as the discussion did not stray too close to memories she wanted to forget, so she simply told him the truth:

"When I cannot sleep, doing something with my hands relaxes me, so I had started sleeping in my garage, and now it has become the place where I am most comfortable."

The explanation ended his concern, and they parted ways for the night.

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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **

**1) The song referenced is Linkin Park's "New Divide", great song.**

**2) I own nothing...**

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In her garage, where she wryly reflected she had the necessary materials to patch up anything from people to cars, after stitching the gash on her arm – which was minor enough not to concern her, Aella had planned to sleep. Yet as she lay on the futon, she found herself completely unable to do so.

Ironically, though insomnia was a near-constant for her, this was the first time it was not because sleeping brought about nightmares, or because of a need to bleed of anxiety through physical work. No, this time it was more complicated than that, because Thor's arrival in her life had changed everything – he had brought warmth and light into her world of desolation and darkness. Like a lightning bold splitting the night, his coming had made her take a deeper look at herself, at emotions she had long since compartmentalized away as they did not directly serve the long-term goal of staying alive –and it scared her.

It scared her that everyone she had ever loved was long-since dead, exactly because of their connection to her…. and though he was anything but human, she was afraid for him, afraid that being by her side would get him killed.

On a completely opposite note, she also feared the inevitability of having to let him go. They were from different worlds, and whatever the reason why he had ended up here was not for her sake. Someday he would have to move on…. and without him, Aella did not know how she would find her way in the darkness again.

For the first time in years, she felt uncertain, vulnerable, in fact afraid….. and combined with the memories that now were welling up unwanted and unbidden, the prospect of relaxing enough to sleep became an impossibility.

Tired of thoughts that ran in circles around her like a school of angry piranhas, Aella decided that she needed something to do that would keep her mind occupied. Ah, earlier that day, when she had pushed her motorcycle to maximum speed, she had noticed that it was not performing optimally…. perhaps the long overdue maintenance and repair that she already had all the parts for was in order.

Turning on her music at a low enough volume that it could not be heard through the soundproofed garage walls, Aella dragged her motorcycle indoors and got to work.

_I remember black skies, the lightning all around me._

_I remember each flash, as time began to blur._

_Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me,_

_and your voice was all I heard, _

_that I get what I deserve…._

_So give me reason, _

_to prove me wrong, _

_to wash this memory clean…_

The song seemed oddly fitting, and for a few moments she wondered if maybe there was hope. She had been certain that Thor and her were never meant to be together – not with him being so genuine, and her so closed off…. not with her being mortal and him far more than…. but sometimes, was it really such a fatal mistake to hope?

When she tugged too hard, and was rewarded with a splatter of black machine oil over her face and shirt, she reminded herself that the point of this project was not to dwell on her unusual visitor or her new existential crisis, and she focused wholeheartedly on the task that was quite-literally at hand.

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	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **

**1) **** I own nothing...**

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One thing that she had learned early on in her life was that when she had given in fully to a task like this one, time lost all meaning to her, so when Thor arrived in her garage telling her that it was a lovely morning, she should have responded in like. Instead she was so surprised that she only managed a half-baked apology for waking him up, assuming that it was indeed the middle of the night.

Thor only smiled slightly, saying:

"You did not wake me, the sun has risen."

Suddenly embarrassed by being caught that unawares, Aella replied hesitantly, with a small nervous smile of her own:

"Oh, right… well, then good morning."

Aella knelt and finished replacing the last bolts on her motorcycle, realizing as she did so that she felt self-conscious about the black grease and grime all over her that stood out very obviously against her white t-shirt. The nervous brushing of her hair from her face only made matters worse since it left grease-streaks on her cheek, but she found herself ultimately laughing at the fact that for the first time she cared.

She had adopted in life a _'don't care, don't let anyone think you care' _policy and it had served her well as a defense. Somehow, Thor managed to effortlessly slip through her defenses and she was not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Ever observant, Thor asked, by way of explaining her edginess:

"You have not slept this night?"

Pushing away her concerns, she wiped her hands on a rag, replying:

"No, but that's nothing new for me… why don't I clean up a bit, and we can get something to eat."

Ten minutes later, after scrubbing the grease from her face and arms and changing clothes, Aella found herself contemplating a refrigerator with nothing but chilled tea and lemonade in it, and cabinets full of the stuff she usually ate, having no actual interest in cooking, period.

That said, though, she was fairly certain that her usual fare, MREs, was not an acceptable introduction to Earth food for an, erm "interplanetary" visitor.

Turning on her heel, Aella went back to her garage, pulling out the box that held all she had left of her family, and finding within it jeans and a couple shirts that would fit Thor.

Memories washed over her, memories of a family long gone, a home reduced to ash, and the irony of being left with only a few physical possessions from an old storage- among which were just two photos – that proved they had ever existed.

No, she would never share these with anyone else, but Thor was different… special, and though she had never imagined doing this, it felt like an honor to her lost family, rather than the opposite.

Returning to the living room where Thor was standing looking out the window, so expansive and perfect he seemed completely out of place in the darkened room, Aella gave him the clothes saying:

"You might want to dress in something less… different, we are going out for breakfast."

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	8. Chapter 8

A/N:

1)Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Evenlight, mermaidstear, and IDKaleigh. I'll reply via PM to everyone I can - which I think is everyone here...

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

2) Sorry for the long wait, things are hellacious right now, but I'll post again ASAP.

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After another short motorcycle ride into town, they arrived at a local diner Aella knew to be good only by reputation, as she had never been there personally, and ordered food for herself and Thor, finding herself somewhere between amused and amazed at his appetite. She did not comment however, reflecting that based on both his appetite and physique, obviously his metabolism worked differently that hers. He was not – after all – human so who was she to comment.

When he decided that coffee was something he enjoyed – and most enthusiastically demonstrated it by smashing his mug on the floor, and calling for another, she found herself torn between the urge to laugh hysterically and the need to perform damage control. The latter won out, and she exclaimed for the benefit of the suddenly too-interested patrons and staff: "Oh, my god – I cannot believe you chose the dare!"

Thor's confusion was palpable, and before he could comment, she got up, bending to pick up the impressively crumbled mug fragments, and whispering to him on the way down: "Please, just play along."

Fortunately he managed to modify his expression to one that was more sheepish than confused, and continuing with her own improvised cover story, she finished collecting the pieces waving off the waitress's help with the explanation: "We're old college buddies – sociology majors, and we had this really interesting professor who just loved to make socially awkward situations… that kind of thing rubs off after a while… so then yesterday we were playing truth or dare and this was my dare…. I just did not think he would actually do it, sorry 'bout that…. Anyway, I'll pay for the cup – and I do think he actually needs more coffee, don't worry, there are no more dares."

The waitress seemed to accept the explanation, though Aella knew just from her expression that she would probably avoid sociology majors for a while, and minutes later returned with more coffee, and the bill.

Once the eyes of the diner were off them, Aella commented quietly to Thor:

"Just so you know, in this culture it is considered rude to smash dishes – especially in someone else's establishment."

Thor seemed genuinely surprised as he replied just as quietly:

"In mine, it's rude not to – it's a sign you didn't like the drink enough…. "

Aella suppressed a chuckle at that as she said evenly:

"I figured as much…"

Before she could go on, Thor broke the silence with a quiet but sincere apology:

"I am sorry for bringing shame to you."

Aella had to fight harder this time to not laugh as she replied:

"Oh, you did not… in fact, that is probably impossible to do."

In a quieter and now completely serious tone, she continued:

"I only covered the reason up because frankly, the less attention you attract the better. You never know when some person who seems harmless turns out to be your worst enemy because they figured out you are not exactly …from here."

Briefly wondering if she sounded like a paranoid fool, Aella was relieved when Thor only nodded without any trace of condescension, and proceeded on to his next cup of coffee.

Everything changed about his relaxed demeanor when two men walked in to the diner, talking about a "satellite crash" – and how heavy it was. Aella immediately thought about the assumed meteor she had seen the night before, and judging from Thor's sudden interest, it was most definitely not a meteor.

It also was not a satellite since they were referring to it as a single solid object, not the shattered wreckage that would be left of a satellite, and the fact that it was being referred to as such made her instantly worried that certain individuals had already taken an interest in whatever it was.

Ordinarily she might have found Thor's forceful question amusing, but she was too busy trying to fight back the rising panic as she heard the comment: "the whole army was coming when we left."… which told her that the interested parties were government, not freelancers. In all truth she did not know whether that made it better or worse.

Forcing back the rising panic as Thor bid her goodbye and walked purposefully out the door, Aella paid, managing to keep a light tone as she told the two men: "don't mind him, he's a teddy bear - just loves to get a reaction out of people…. took a particular professor way too seriously."

Once outside the diner, Aella was treated to the spectacle of Thor almost becoming roadkill twice in under thirty seconds, and ran to catch up with him, pulling him to the side of the road, and demanding breathlessly, though she already knew the answer: "Where are you going?"

Still walking, Thor answered deadpan: "fifty miles west of here."

Aella thought aloud: "So it was not a meteor."

Thor replied with a slight smile: "No, it belongs to me… I am going to reclaim it."

Stepping ahead and wheeling to face him, Aella finally succeeded in stopping him, as she replied, frustration leaking into her tone:

"Well, it's not so simple – you remember that guy that almost killed one of us? his weapon? there are going to be a whole bunch more men there with more dangerous versions of said weapon… you'll never walk out alive."

Still unfazed, Thor replied: "I am going to fly out."

Suddenly feeling remarkably stupid, while her brain paused, trying to digest this new information, she stammered: "fly?". Then her thoughts caught up with her, and she sighed:

"Please do not do this, Thor – it is dangerous…. believe me, I'd know."

Taking her hand, Thor gave her a small smile as he said quietly:

"You are concerned for my safety, and it is kind of you – but I have to do this. Mjolnir is part of who I am…. and without it, this is all I am… I do not want to spend my life as a mortal…. can you understand what it is like to be trapped in a mortal form when you once commanded the power of the storm?"

Aella could not exactly imagine what he was referring to, but she understood the feeling of being trapped well enough, and could no longer fight him on this point. Finally after what felt like an eternity of deliberation, she replied:

"Fine, I'll give you a ride there."

As she got on her motorcycle, and Thor sat behind her, Aella said:

"Two conditions: First, you will take a couple hours with me and learn to ride this thing, and second, I am coming with you."

She could feel the change in his emotions – the most prominent being confusion and concern for her – based on her earlier warnings to him, but before he could argue, she said firmly:

"It's either that or you get to walk there – and I assure you, you will not find a horse around here….."

Twisting slightly to see him, Aella added, burying firmly any fears she had in the back of her mind:

"Don't worry about me – I am more than capable of handling them…. If there is anything, at this point, in my life that is my specialty, its fighting – I am good at this."

Finally Thor agreed to her terms, and they set off for her home.

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	9. Chapter 9

A/N:

1) I own nothing.

2)Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Evenlight, Laurafxox, mermaidstear, and HauntedMonster. As usual. I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

3) Some inspiration for this chapter is taken from the book "Chosen by a Horse", great story, incredibly depressing... which I also don't own.

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The motorcycle lesson went paradoxically far better and far worse than Aella expected. Thor was a very fast leaner, and he had an excellent sense of balance as well as high-speed steering. Unfortunately he had far too much experience steering horses –and on the rare occasions that muscle memory kicked in and he'd try to steer the motorcycle like a horse – things went south, fast.

When it happened for the second time, Thor had been going fast enough that the bike flipped, and he was thrown off it, giving cause to a now terrified Aella to come running across the back yard afraid that he had been injured.

To her relief, he was fine, having absorbed the shock of landing by rolling on impact. To her shock, he seemed more amused than angry, or hell, even frustrated, and only commented mildly:

"Why again did your people abandon horses for these?"

Figuring that this was as good a discussion as any for keeping Thor off the motorcycle till she was certain that he was not in fact injured, Aella responded as she sank down to sit on the dry ground across from him:

"That's a pretty broad question… For a lot of people out there, they don't have the time or resources to spare, and one of these is easier to manage than a horse; for example there are a lot of people who need to travel every day but do not have a place to keep a horse, but a motorcycle can be stuffed almost anywhere."

Thor nodded, but followed up with a question if his own:

"You have the space, and if I am to judge from your words, you want a horse, so why do you not have one? Is it because caring for one is too much time? or…"

Aella sighed quietly, faced by a more perceptive question than she felt prepared to answer – a more personal question than she would answer to anyone else, but this was Thor asking, and despite her policy of revealing nothing, he deserved the truth. Her tone was weary when she finally answered, but she pressed on anyway:

"You are right, I've always wanted to have one – even saw a very beautiful mare a couple years back I wanted to bring home with me…. I suppose it's what happens when you grow up on a farm. … but it's not resources that stopped me then, or now. You'd be amazed how much help being an empath is when you are gambling – or investing….."

Thor waited patiently when Aella fell silent and leaned her head back, eyes closed. When finally she spoke again, her voice was brittle:

"Everyone in my life I have ever loved is dead…. and I'm not masochistic enough to hope my luck with an animal I'll invariably become fond of will be any better."

Aella opened her eyes and chanced a glance at Thor, expecting some kind of criticism to be looking back at her because that's what most people would meet her statement with, but there was none of that in his blue eyes, only an understanding for her emotional burden which was strange considering that she'd never told him what happened, and a slight confusion at the facts of her words. Ah, yes, she imagined where he came from there were fewer things that were actually terminal – if any at all, and it was perhaps a good time to let him know that Earth was thousands of years behind.

She smiled bitterly:

"I know you're wondering why I'm worried…. It happens, I've seen it. My family, we didn't have animals, just a garden full of vegetables we'd sell at the local market, but our neighbor had horses, four of them. The fourth was one she'd adopted and nursed back to health from nearly dead…. and even from across that much distance I knew that horse was her favorite. At the time I never paid attention to the fact that something changed one day and I rarely saw the horse around, never wondered why the mare was wearing a protective cover on her eyes…. then one spring day I'm watching from the distance and I see her lead the horse out to the pasture, and her vet gives the horse an injection…. and the horse falls down dead."

Swallowing back remembered pain, Aella finished, telling a Thor who looked as shocked as she had been:

"I'd been so angry, I could not figure out why she had done that… until I saw the woman sitting on the ground with the mare's head in her lap, weeping like her world had ended…. and then I knew that she had not wanted it…."

Thor was still confused, a fact that at any other time would have been amusing – welcome to Earth, the medical dark ages. Before he had the chance to ask, Aella finished quietly:

"The mare had a brain tumor, an illness that modern medicine cannot treat… so she had been forced to choose between letting her horse die a slow painful death or giving her a fast painless one, because those were the only options life had given her…. and I'm not ready to risk being in that position. I know it sounds stupid, and it's unlikely…. but I'm not ready to love and loose again."

It is a gentle hand on her wrist that brings her back from the memories filling her mind, both those she has shared with him, and the worse ones she cannot bear to speak of that involve her family.

The warmth and genuine sympathy she can feel in his emotions is comforting, even as the burning curiosity within him for the things she has not told him scares her – only because she is not ready to relive the rest – and she is grateful when having realized this is more than she wants to discuss, Thor does not ask.

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	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the change into present tense, it seems to work better for me, and I hope you are all OK with it.

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After another hour of motorcycle lessons, by which time Thor is doing well on his own, they go to her house and eat a dinner that this time she prepares on the grill.

It is only when she sees his eyes locked on the photograph above her fireplace that she feels she should tell him the answers to the obvious questions that arise, and getting to her feet to bring it over, she says, gesturing to the happy couple – an albino-blonde woman and her redhead husband - that held between them a young dark-haired girl who was smiling so openly it is hard to believe that was Aella as a child:

"They were my family…. in case you're wondering, I was adopted…. It did not matter, they were family in every way that mattered."

Thor does not ask, but he'd realized from what she said earlier that her parents were dead, and the sorrow in his gaze tells her more clearly than any question that he's wondering what happened.

Aella paces to the window, looking out at the setting sun, trying to figure out how to speak of a truth she had kept buried for years, finally settling on:

"I was seventeen, about to graduate from high school and on my way with a scholarship to MIT to major in robotics 'cause I was good at it… My parents were so proud…and then I made the mistake of sharing a secret I probably should have never known with a person I though I could trust….I was wrong – and my parents paid with their lives."

For a few moments Thor is so silent that Aella figures he must think her truly twisted – twisted because while earlier her voice was breaking over a horse, now that she tells him this her voice is flat and icy as space, and she does not think that unlike the other people she has known, he will realize it's a defense mechanism.

But she is proven wrong when apparently he has, because he is suddenly standing behind her, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze, and she can tell he wants to comfort her, tell her it's not her fault…. and she wants to hear it more than ever before, except that she knows it's not true, and before he can get the chance to say anything, she turns around and says in a voice that is burning with bitterness:

"It is my fault… my mistake, and nothing's ever going to change that."

It is a bittersweet relief that Thor does not argue with her, and drawing strength from his silent presence, from the fact that he has not judged her, she pulls herself back together, and says in her normal tone:

"Come on, let's get ready to steal back your uh… Hammer."

Part of her preparations is calling up an old acquaintance of hers , presently going by the alias Brian Dobson– a man who owed her one in his words, sending him over a secure network a photo of a smiling Thor. Thor is curious as always, and his curiosity only grows when she tells Thor that she is preparing for the worst-case scenario, and her contact is a master forger.

The confused question: "A master forger, which means he makes weapons?" is so hilarious even though well founded considering his background that Aella has to choke out between laughs:

"No, fake ID's…. like mine. You don't exist to this world, and if we get caught it's just going to make things a lot more complicated…. I just hope that he comes through for me…. I'm asking him to take a big risk he's not going to like."

Thor asks her if she always prepares for the worst-case scenario, and she tells him that life has taught her she has to, pointedly omitting that the reason for her insistence that Thor learn to ride her motorcycle without her: Should she be killed, and he not get to fly out, she wants him to have a chance to escape – even if it's a pathetically slim one..

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	11. Chapter 11

A/N:

1) I own nothing.

2)Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Evenlight and Avrice the Demigod. As usual. I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging!

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Once at the site of the supposed "satellite crash", Aella's inner cynic cannot hold back on a small rant about one of the worst cover-stories ever, in her opinion, since anyone with the vaguest clue about these things would know that the government would have gathered up the debris of a satellite crash and cleared out immediately, instead of building increasingly permanent structures around it, and irritation only gives way to curiosity when Thor comments with some amusement of his own that they probably did not remove Mjolnir because they could not move it.

If not for the fact that practically her entire life is a giant scientific mystery (because she firmly believes that there has to be an explanation for her abilities that is scientific in nature) she might have doubted it, but after what she's lived, she finds it feasible that there is something in existence that the government with all their large machinery could not move, and she does not argue.

Instead she plans her own attack on the camp below, deciding finally that she will approach from the opposite edge of the crater to Thor's starting point to keep the government forces split up, and meet him at the center.

The only weapons she has on her are two knives and a hollow steel rod that functions well as a fighting staff, forgoing both of her firearms to avoid the risk of starting a shootout when Thor will become the obvious casualty. Five minutes into her own assault, she still has not needed to resort to using the knives, figuring that inflicting lethal damage will only make their situation worse – and though she has to admit these men are well trained, it's nothing she cannot handle.

It is irritating when for some reason a torrential rainstorm of all things begins, but fortunately she is almost at an entrance to the steel and sheet-plastic building, where once inside, the number of opponents coming her way per minute triples.

Aella still wins each fight, but she's starting to tire, and more and more blows find their way home – the price perhaps of training for the past four years exclusively with only a punch-bag, an opponent that does not hit back. Whatever the reason, she finds that running is easier than fighting, and is forced to take a few sub-optimal turns in order to get a breather.

As plans go, what this has evolved to is not bad. She had planned to meet up with Thor at the center of this structure where presumably his hammer was – if they had indeed guessed right as to what the satellite was covering for – but even this is effective.

For the past few minutes, she has not made any real progress in any direction, but she's filling the corridor with unconscious men – who would all be headed to fight Thor, so playing the role of the cantankerous roadblock is good enough.

Or at least it seems enough until Aella hears Thor leave a scream of unbearable anguish, and all she can think is that he has been seriously hurt. The carefully controlled calm she has held onto all this time disappears, and is replaced with hurt and rage – realizing in this moment that she is forced to contemplate losing Thor how much he had come to mean to her in the time they had been together – and this time she attacks anyone unfortunate enough to cross her path with newfound ferocity as she makes a desperate charge towards the source of that anguished scream, not caring that at this point a large number of her opponents may end up with casts instead of bruises.

When she finally finds Thor, she abruptly realizes that whatever happened is most likely not what she had first assumed, and needing to know, to understand, she runs to meet him, dropping to her knees in front of him as she gently places her hand upon one of his.

She immediately feels relief at the revelation that there is no physical pain due to any serious injury, and a crushing sense of hopelessness that overwhelms her – which she realizes is entirely from Thor.

It is only at that point that she looks behind her and takes in the short-handled hammer that hums audibly with electrical energy – and even she cannot help but be awed. Unfortunately it is then that the pieces all fit together, and she realizes what had to have happened to leave Thor this hopeless: He'd fought his way to Mjolnir, but Mjolnir would not move even for him… and the fate of being trapped in a mortal existence while everything he was once sat before him gleaming in a tomb of stone was too much to bear.

Pulling away from a contact that is quickly becoming too emotionally painful to keep up, Aella takes a quick glance at her surroundings, knowing immediately that they will never be able to fight past the men who have surrounded them with enough firepower on hand to kill both of them several times over. But despite the fact that Thor had given up and was kneeling before a part of him that now had become a symbol of everything he had lost, not caring if they would kill him or worse, Aella finds that she cannot give up on him.

She does not know whether or not he can ever find meaning in a mortal existence, but she hopes for at least a chance to show him that it is still possible – and that is enough to make her go back on every promise she had made to herself those six years ago.

Taking his hands once more, she squeezes tight, sending the mental-equivalent of a shout toward his mind:

"Thor! snap out of it, I need you to listen to me."

When he finally raises his eyes to meet hers, she knows she has his attention, and flatly denies his offer to distract them while she escapes, saying firmly:

"I'm not going anywhere without you…. so just hold on tight, okay?"

Thor seems confused – as well he should be given her request – and she can feel though the physical contact the concern for her that permeates his own despair. She closes her eyes, trying to calm down enough to tap into an ability she had left dormant for years – and planned to leave dormant forever – but she can see the danger through his eyes, made only worse by a feeling of guilt that is rising within him concerning an apparently recent injury to one of his friends back home in a fight he blamed himself for starting…. and this emotional feedback is not helping.

Opening her eyes, she notices with wry amusement the torn plastic panel right behind Thor, and cannot help but think:

"Ah. Thor, welcome to the wonderful world of sheet-plastic"

Aella had momentarily forgotten that she had an active empathy-link with Thor, but coupled with her momentary amusement, it probably was the best thing for both of them as it lifted his mood enough to let him work with her, and distracted her from the present danger enough that without warning, she pulled him to his feet as she stood, wrapped her arms around him and sent out a kinetic blast that knocked back by several feet all their potential shooters, using the seconds it would take them together to rise up into the sky with Thor.

It was a mixed success. The first blast had been too weak to even render anyone unconscious, but it was enough to buy time. Aella's second move had been purely experimental. She had been using her inborn telekinetic ability since before she was able to talk –not that it had done her any good – and for most of her life up until six years ago, but it had always been to move other objects, never herself. This was a spur-of-the-moment improvisation, and she had taken an enormous chance on it, hoping that willing the terrain to move down relative to her would necessitate her to move up relative to it – and it worked.

So pleased with herself at her success as she watches the dazed guards below her try to regroup, that she does not notice the archer overhead until his arrow is in flight, and her last minute path correction that accompanies her snapping his bowstring before he can use it again is not enough to entirely avoid the arrow, which grazes both her thigh and Thor's before falling harmlessly to the ground.

Seconds later when the relatively small scratch starts throbbing and she becomes disoriented, Aella realizes the arrow had to have had some type of poison on it – or at least a non-lethal drug, since if it was meant to kill, the archer would have not been aiming for her thigh – but the experience brings back a flood of suppressed memories of substances tried on her, and in a brief moment of panic she looses control, sending both her and he passenger into freefall.

Struggling for calm while reliving her worst nightmares, Aella barely succeeds in breaking the fall enough to leave both of them relatively unharmed, but as she struggles to look around at the gunmen that are surrounding her and an equally disoriented Thor, she knows that any chance they had to escape is gone – and by panicking seconds earlier when she should have kept calm and continued on her original path, she may well have killed them both.

She feels the terror grow within her as the guards step forward and drag them separate ways in handcuffs – and though she supposes she should be theoretically grateful they did not open fire right there and then, in her experience, this is the far-worse alternative.

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A/N: Yep, Aella has telekinesis too, and I'm sorry if it seems like overkill, but there is a reason she has both that and this "empathy thing" and it turns out she was not born with both...


	12. Chapter 12

A/N:

1) I own nothing.

2)Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Avrice the Demigod, mermaidstear, and SighingWinter. As usual. I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging!

3) Sorry for the delay, my work schedule has gotten less predictable lately with reduced manpower and some cow problems (not mine, my bosses) so here I am...

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After being given an injection that had she had known was likely the antidote – thought the fact had not made her even fractionally more cooperative in the process of receiving it– Aella had been left alone in a small mirrored cell, where for a while it seemed she had been completely forgotten.

Apparently it was not the case, though because before long there is an agent type there with her in the cell, asking a long list of inane questions she has no intention of answering – a fact that the guy probably has figured out for himself based on her silence – until he apparently has something better to spend his time on because he leaves.

Once alone, Aella swallows hard, and allows herself to breathe just a little deeper. She does not imagine for a second that she is not under observation, but without a person obviously staring at her she might have a better chance of dealing with the problematic emotions running through her mind – the predominant ones being fear and guilt – while she tries to lay to rest the memories assaulting her.

She reminds herself firmly that this is an entirely different situation – that their captors this time are by-the-book government types who are more likely to use psychological pressure than inflicted pain to get the answers they want – but the reminder does not help much, because she cannot stop thinking about everything she has been running from these past six years, or the fact that everyone's patience has limits, and past those limits, things might get ugly.

Most of all she is afraid for Thor's sake, because she's been down this road before and survived it, even if barely… and while she believes Thor can also, he deserved better than to be brought face-to-face with the darkest depths of human malice and sadism…. and she hates herself more than anyone else in this moment for giving in to past fears and by so doing possibly condemning the future.

She knows that outwardly she has managed to put on a mask of confident stoic indifference with success that is admirable, but inside she is terrified, and the time that passes does nothing to loosen the knot in her stomach.

When the agent questioning her comes back, telling her that her companion has blamed her for organizing their penetration through government security – as well as being the one with illegal connections, and offering her a chance to tell her side of the story and defend herself, Aella almost laughs – because she knows Thor too well to ever believe that he would do such a thing, because he is the most genuine person she has ever known, and finally because she recognizes this tactic very well – but she hides the amusement also, not wanting to give anything away, and continues saying nothing, not knowing what - if anything - Thor may have said and not wanting to risk contradicting him.

Aella smiles inwardly when the agent lays a hand on her shoulder, presumably to back up his apparent sympathy regarding the situation of being framed by one's own team that he is trying to convince her of, because she can hear his thoughts that confirm her belief that Thor had said no-such thing – but she also knows from reading his mind that he has told the same story to Thor, and the knowledge that those words would have hurt him, whether or not he believes them in the end leaves Aella trembling with rage.

And then suddenly just before the agent walks out, breaking the physical contact, there is a single word in the his thoughts that shakes her more than any one word should be able to: "Diane".

She tells herself it is simply a coincidence; that the agent had to be thinking of someone else and not the true name of the girl that had vanished at the age of seventeen and had a gravestone by her adoptive parents – but the possibility that this agency knows who she is, and just may have had her in heir sights before this day, terrifies her enough that it takes her fifteen minutes to return her breathing to a normal rate.

Then abruptly she finds herself laughing inwardly again – because she imagines that they are monitoring her vitals –and will be wasting hours trying to figure out what had triggered her fight-or-flight response when the agent was not actually saying anything anymore.

Bored again, she considers the idea of trying to fight her way free – after all these electronic locks while inaccessible from the inside can only withstand so much force – but the reminder that their captors are armed, and that her actions will likely only accomplish getting both her and Thor killed quashes that consideration, because while she does not mind taking her chances, she is not going to make that choice for someone else.

When they take her to see Thor, she knows it is only to observe their interactions, and promises herself she will not react, but the decision evaporates from her mind when she sees him, because even from across the room she can see that he is even more broken, emotionally, than when she had last seen him. It shows only too clearly in the fact that he does not look up to see who has entered, in the fact that when she does meet his gaze those electric blue eyes have become dull and lifeless, and when she finally drops to her knees to maintain eye contact and takes his hands tightly between her own, the wave of pain and loss that crashes into her psyche is more than she has ever known before, more than she can bear. In his emotions, Thor has always been as fiercely committed as the storm he once commanded, and this crushing pain is no different.

Still she knows she has his attention when he is about to speak, but she thinks fast, again in the mental equivalent of a yell:

"_Don't speak, they're listening… Think at me."_

This time beneath the crushing loss she can detect a sense of confusion and betrayal, and before he has the chance to ask, gently but firmly interjects:

"**They lied to you – and to me about the same thing – it's part of their strategy."**

She cannot help the bittersweet feeling that fills her when without further explanation Thor accepts her statement as truth, and the confusion and betrayal vanish from his mind, but he still should see this much, so she projects her memories of the past few hours to him, and this time the only reaction is a momentary surprise at the transfer of information, but not at its content.

With that out of the way, Aella is still acutely aware of the crushing despair and loss filling the so-vulnerable mortal-god before her, and asks gently:

"_What did they do to you?"_

In answer, Thor thinks back _"nothing" _and then through the memories he revisits her questions are answered – reawakening the grief she had felt for her own family, because the person who came from his home-world to bring bad tidings at the worst possible time has told Thor that his father is dead, that his remaining family is choosing to alienate him…. and for all this, he blames himself.

She knows both crushing loss and unbearable guilt only too well, and knows at the same time that nothing she can ever do will ease the pain of either.

It comes as a surprise to her that based on Thor's memories, his use of the word 'brother' meant exactly that – and was not in fact an affectionate term for comrade – because even from this brief memory, she can tell that the person he'd called Loki is nothing like Thor in appearance or personality, and that they are siblings would have been her absolute last guess.

Pushing away the thought, she tries to provide some comfort to Thor, holding tightly to his hands in an effort to remind him that he is not alone even now, while she gently tells him through his thoughts that it is not his fault – and that though things turned out badly, his intentions were in the right place and that is what mattered.

Those thoughts do nothing to ease the crushing loss that fills Thor – just as she had known from personal experience – but the fact that she is there does help, even if a little.

Briefly her mind wonders to questioning the truth of what he has been told, forgetting that through the connection he will hear that thought, so she is surprised when he tells her that though his brother has lied in the past, he would never lie about something this important –or in a way that would hurt him so deeply – and though Aella has instinctual reservations about Thor's brother - based on the few glimpses she has had of him through Thor's thoughts and her far-too-detailed knowledge of the lows of human nature – she does not argue with him on the topic.

Deliverance comes unexpectedly, in the form of one of one of the local contacts of her old acquaintance 'Brian' who had arrived at the complex with identification for Thor and a cover story about Aella and her 'new boyfriend' being harmless thrill-seeking wannabe pirates who had broken in simply for the fun of proving that they could.

It is a flimsy cover-story, but the agents seem willing to accept it, and as her and Thor are on their way back home, Aella finds herself more disturbed by that fact than anything else.

When inside, Aella activates the signal-filters she had built into her house before saying anything, and with that taken care of, she switches to the keep-Thor-busy mode in an effort to keep him from dwelling on the losses of the day.

When he asks her finally how she is able to fly, she knows she has done her job too well, and finally settles for postponing the conversation she absolutely never wanted to have with him by sending him to take a shower while she lights the rarely used fireplace in her living-room.

Five minutes of pacing do not help her nerves at all, so she finally shuts off most of the lights and sits on the floor, staring into the flames and trying not to give into the urge to drop off the map once again.

She is certain this conversation will be their last – that after this she will be alone again, and the idea hurts more than she would ever like to admit…. but she also knows her decisions made it inevitable, and if there is anyone in this world (or any other) who deserves the truth, it is Thor.

She tells herself she will figure out how to gather up the pieces later… after all she has had to do it before.

...

...


	13. Chapter 13

A/N:

1) I own nothing.

2)Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: SighingWinter, and Avrice the Demigod. As usual. I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging!

3) Finally we get to find out about Aella's past, and maybe why she just might have something in common with Loki (which will be important later)

...

...

When Thor emerges, now in clean clothes, it does not take long to find Aella, and he sits on the floor a few feet away from her, resting his back against the sofa like she is – and simply waits.

Aella does not know why he is waiting – perhaps because he realizes based on the past hints she has dropped that this is hard for her, or perhaps because this kind of ability is not so unusual in his world – but she is grateful for his silence, which makes this task just a little easier.

Finally she finds her voice, staring into the flames, saying quietly:

"I told you I was adopted – and that because of a mistake I made, they are all gone….. but I never told you why."

Aella wills a flaming piece of wood to come to her, letting it spin in the air between her open hands, watching a display she once would have found beautiful but no-longer can, and continues:

"I was born with this ability…. I was using it before I could talk or walk, not knowing that it was not normal. My biological parents did not believe that humans can evolve or should – so when toys would cross the room and end up in their infant's cradle, they decided I had to be Satan's spawn, and abandoned me at a dump to die…. "

She takes a breath and continues:

"Someone found me there and took me to an adoption agency where the family that raised me took me in.

For a long time, after learning to walk and talk, I found easier ways to get to things I wanted, and this ability became dormant, enough that I forgot I had it…. Then when I was twelve in school, not really fitting in because I had been bumped up a grade since I was ahead of my class, there was only one kid there who would talk to me, a girl named Christie…. I thought we were friends. Anyway, one day we were at recess, and some of the school bullies had taken her homework from her. One of them climbed up a tree so she could not reach him, and sat there teasing her. I was angry – neither of us knew how to climb, and I had found myself wishing that the tree branch broke."

She turns to Thor with a bitter smile:

"When it broke, I did not know it was my thoughts that had done it."

Then she turns to stare at the slowly spinning flames between her hands, using the effort this display takes to distract her from panicking, and continues:

"He sprained his ankle, and in the confusion, I grabbed back Christie's homework…. but when I turned to give it to her, she was watching me with horror – and though in the end no-one could charge me with anything, she was the first to call me a witch…. that was the end of our friendship."

Aella chuckles bitterly – wondering how something so insignificant now had hurt her so deeply then – before continuing in a tone that is starting to fracture under the weight of the sorrow and guilt:

"I tried not to think about it, until the winter solstice on which I turned thirteen. That day my parents decided to tell me the truth about me being adopted, the fact that they had taken me in as an infant and not knowing my birthday picked winter solstice to celebrate it on – and the reason why I looked nothing like them. I asked why my previous family had abandoned me, and they told me that it did not matter, they were my family now….. Unfortunately I could not lay my question to rest, and eventually I found the police report that had been filed they day I was found in the cold – along with an anonymous note warning any prospective parents of my being _'possessed by Satan' _"

Aella is interrupted when she looses her mental hold on the flaming coals and they drop into her lap – an unfortunate effect of emotions on her ability to use telekinesis – forcing her to quickly throw them back in before continuing:

"Of course I was hurt – hurt by the fact that my own blood had abandoned me to die – but worse than that I started wondering if that incident with the tree was me…. and once I started believing it was possible, I rediscovered the … ability to move objects by will alone…

I asked my parents – the only ones that were family to me – I asked them if they knew about this, and to my shock, they told me yes, they did – that it was a gift I should cherish rather than fear, that it was a step of evolution, an unavoidable part of human nature– and that I should never tell another soul about it, because it is also in our nature to fear and even hate that which we do not understand."

Tears blur her vision as she stares into the flames, yet Aella presses on, her voice barely a whisper:

"I learned to use that ability – I practiced it in the privacy of our home – I kept it a secret within our family…..even though part of me wanted the world's acceptance…."

Aella takes another calming breath, trying to not crumble under the memories assaulting her, finally saying bitterly:

"I was seventeen when I told ….him…I was going to be graduating soon and had a full scholarship to go to MIT – I felt like I was on top of the world, but I wanted …. human connections…. and Tom and I had gone from being study partners to very close friends."

She smiles bitterly again, even as she blinks away tears:

"The last night of my life – as Diane the country-girl, as a person who had a family – was the night of senior prom. We had spent the evening dancing, talking about almost everything, and afterwards we'd gone for a secluded walk by the lake because I told him I wanted to share a secret with him."

Anger mixes with the bitterness in her voice as she continues:

"That was my mistake – I showed him what I could do by making a few colored leaves dance in the air – I trusted him not to hurt me, not to betray my secret…. and then I asked him if he still wanted to hang out with me….. He said _'yes, always, like I told you once, we're a team'_ and put an arm around my shoulders leading me deeper into the forest. I did not realize his intentions until it was too late."

She can almost sense Thor's confusion, but before he can speak, she cuts in, still looking into the flames:

"I could not read minds then – or emotions… so when he attacked me, I was completely unprepared…. Naturally I fought back, but I was not a fighter then, he was stronger than me and merciless…. and no-one could hear me screaming for help."

Aella draws her knees in, wrapping her arms tightly around them as remembered pain rips through her, finally finishing in a whisper while she tries not to think of Tom forcing himself upon her while she lay in a pool of her own blood, tries not to think of the hallucinations or realities that were just as awful:

"He beat me into unconsciousness – and when I woke up, I was in an underground facility … where I spent the next four years….. as one of their test subjects… They tried everything – everything from experimental neurotoxins to the good-old method of clubs , knives, and fire – they wanted to know what would break me and destroy the ability…. and for a while they were succeeding – until I realized that the only way I would survive was to act weaker than I was, to stop fighting but never stop wanting to."

As she continues, there is a consuming anger that seeps into her voice:

"They always let me heal after any of their…. sessions… only because I was more useful to them alive than dead, but over time I became weaker and weaker, and the goal of escaping seemed further and further away, until I realized that I was not their only subject – that there were others – and that knowledge gave me new purpose…. because it was then that I realized this was not just about me. The organization to which Tom belonged believed that people like me should not exist, that we were an evolutionary mistake that had to be studied and then eliminated…. and I was only one in a long line of many."

Her voice is now more level, even though it still burns with sorrow and anger:

"It gave me new purpose, and the next time I was physically whole enough to move under my own power, I attacked the guards. I was still weaker than them, but after four years of me not fighting back, they'd gotten sloppy….

In the end I only found one subject left alive – barely… Alyssa…she was the empath – and she was too badly wounded for me to save her. She was dying, and she knew it…. but she begged me to not let everything she was die with her….That's how I became an empath, she somehow transferred it to me the way I can transfer memories and thoughts…. and it took what little life she had left in her."

Fighting back tears, Aella says quietly: "It's ironic, she thanked me for saving her in a sense, but the truth is that she saved me…. I was shooting my way out and I was doing okay until the gun I had picked up ran out of bullets – right when I came face-to-face with Tom. We started fighting, but I was loosing, before long he had be on the floor and he was strangling me – until in desperation I reached for what Alyssa had given me, and used the physical contact with him to forcibly dump every single instant of pain in my memories into his mind…..

It left me exhausted, but he was even more so, and before he could recover, I put a bullet through his head with his own gun."

Her voice breaks as she adds:

"I tried to go home, only to found out that they had arranged for my parents to be murdered only days after I was taken – because my parents would have tried to find me, they would have sought out help. Our home was gone, burned to the ground, and the only things I have left of my family are a few possessions that had been entrusted for storage with a neighbor years prior"

By the time she finished her voice has become icy and flat again, and it remains so as she finishes:

"Instead of trying to settle down, I hid and let myself heal, physically… I survived by reading minds at the gambling tables and changed identity several times so I would not be found… I learned to fight – and when I had become strong enough, I returned to the world I had been running from to make sure what happened to my family, what happened to me and Alyssa never happened to anyone else again…. For five years I tracked down and killed every single member of that organization."

Calmer now, she finishes:

"Then when I could find no more, I changed identity again –I tried to build a life from the ashes –and promised myself I would never again use the abilities that had gotten my family killed... I kept that promise until today."

Now that this last secret has been shared with him, Aella falls silent, expecting Thor to walk out on her now that he knows her past. With the empathy that has let her see into his heart she knows he will not hurt her, but she cannot expect him to accept her now that he knows the truth that has killed or turned against her everyone in her life – and some small altruistic part of her wishes that he will leave her because she does not want to be his destruction, even while she dreads the idea of facing life without his light to warm her lonely cold world.

When Thor moves, though, it is not to leave, instead he moves closer, laying a tentative hand gently over her clenched fist – and though she tells herself that she should push him away, she cannot bring herself to break the contact through which she can feel his complete acceptance of her, his trust, and if she is to be truthful with herself, his love.

It is the last that scares her – because everyone she has ever loved and everyone who loved her is dead – and she finally forces out bitterly, while the tears finally begin to fall:

"I'll be your destruction… I always am."

Thor moves his hand, but only to dry her tears, gently turning her head so she can meet his sincere crystalline blue eyes as he says gently:

"I do not believe that – and I do not care."

Aella knows that she should not accept his faith in her or his love, especially because he is mortal now – probably for the rest of his life – but she is drawn to his brilliant light in a world that without him is dark, she is drawn to his sincerity and loyalty in a world of lies and betrayals, and she cannot help but lean into him as he puts one arm around her and pulls her close.

What feels like an eternity passes, where they sit in silence, and Aella lets Thor's comforting presence drive away the shadows that haunt her, finally asking:

"I know you accept me…. but how, how can you be so…. calm about what I am?"

Thor smiles then, supplying: "In my world, people with magical abilities are not that unusual."

It is Aella's turn to chuckle as she replies:

"Yeah, but I don't believe in magic – I know there has got to be a scientific explanation for this."

Thor only shrugs, completely unruffled by her dismissal, and says gently:

"Your ancestors called it magic, and you call it science… in my world they are one and the same."

Aella notices even through her own confusion that Thor's memories of home make him feel at peace, even though they are all he has left now, and it is partly out of a desire to learn and partly out of a desire to let Thor find a little peace himself that she asks:

"Tell me about your world."

He does, he tells her of the nine realms and Yddragsil, he tells her of the Bifrost bridge and describes the beauty of his home-world… and it is leaning against him that she finally drifts to sleep, comforted by his voice and the contact with him that has let her be at peace for the first time in more than a decade.

When Thor notices and lifts her onto the sofa to sleep, Aella awakens – inevitably really after living under constant alert for so long – but she does not let it show because it's nice to be cared for once in a while after having to stand alone for so long, and when Thor returns to cover her and brushes her hair from her face before laying down to sleep on the other sofa, she can feel that he is more at peace than before – that he does not feel like his mortal life is without purpose any longer, perhaps because he knows that by accepting her, he has saved her, and that is enough for him – and as she drifts back to sleep, for the first time in as long as she can remember, she finds herself smiling.

...

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	14. Chapter 14

A/N:

1) Sorry for the long wait! and as usual, please let me know if I mess this up.

2)Sincere thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: Avrice the Demigod, wolftattoo, and AshleyV6661. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

3) wolftattoo, that is an excellent question, the answer to which unfortunately is that we got to wait and see ;-).

Avrice the Demigod, welcome back!

4) As I usually forget to mention, I own nothing!

...

...

The next morning, Aella and Thor make breakfast in her kitchen – a trial-and-error procedure of sorts since while she can handle a grill with reasonable success, once pans are involved, everything becomes too sticky for her liking, and Thor has clearly never done this - but despite the numerous missteps, there is a comforting peace that hangs in the air, and solace to be found in the fact that these small laughs are ones they can share without any secrets left unspoken between them.

Thor had not spoken the night before of his burden – of the loss of his father and his exile, but he had shared with her his memories, she knows the basic facts – and is willing to wait for him to want to talk about it, if and when that happens. Yet despite the peace between them, Aella cannot shake the feeling that nothing this beautiful can ever last, and for all the times she tells herself that she is putting too much value on her past experiences, she cannot stop a vaguely cold weight from settling in the pit of her stomach.

After their morning meal, and finding that she cannot settle her nerves, Aella suggests to Thor that they spend the day in town getting some needed supplies – both in hopes that having something to do will distract her, and because supplies are in fact needed. She figures that decent food is a must, as well as clothing for Thor and some educational material, reasoning that if he is going to be trapped in this world for a while, he needs to learn the culture to survive.

These thoughts bring a news wave of sorrow with them, because though Thor now seems resigned to a mortal existence, she does not want to think of the very real possibility that he is going to be trapped in this world forever – or more accurately for the length of a human lifespan – because for all that she finds peace by his side, she does not want to see him live as a mortal when he was born to be so much more…. she hates to see him trapped…. and most of all she cannot bear the idea that one day he will die as a mortal.

She nods numbly when Thor agrees with her statement, and as they drive into town, this time with Thor driving the 'metal beast of Midgard' as he has called her motorcycle, Aella simply buries her face against his strong solid shoulder and tries not to think.

It seems like as good a time as any to familiarize Thor with a few human customs and the laws appropriate to their century, so they take their time walking from one place to another, while Aella subtly points out behaviors he should be familiar with - but despite her distraction, she can immediately sense the tense confusion in the people around her, and not knowing what they are reacting to, she lightly rests her hand on the concealed pistol tucked into her belt, pulling Thor by her side to a stop as the cause of the confusion becomes apparent in the form of four decidedly not human people walked straight toward them.

They are not human – that much is clear from their bearing alone – and based on flickers of Thor's memories, Aella thinks she might be able to recognize them as friends or allies of his from Asgard, but she still remains on guard for all of the second it takes for Thor to break into his blinding heartwarming smile and run to embrace them.

Tension recedes from her form as she surmises that they are not here to harm Thor, and it evaporates entirely when the curious onlookers dismiss the newcomers as a group preparing for a renaissance fair – an illusion she only helps reinforce with a couple of offhand remarks to a bystander as she mocks the amount of effort some people give to re-enactments.

Yet despite that, even as she leads the group to an empty area where their conversation will not be overheard, she feels a small pang of pain within her when she hears them tell Thor that they are there to take him home, and though she smiles encouragingly for his sake when they tell him that his father is alive, and that he is not in fact banished forever, even that emotion is tinged with sorrow for the pain and betrayal written on Thor's features, as she see him come to the conclusion that she had only suspected before, that his brother had lied to him.

The other source of the ache in her chest is the reality that he will soon leave her, and though she knows that this is what she wanted – that to see him return home and theoretically have a chance to reclaim his birthright is her greatest wish, a small selfish part of her mourns for his impending departure.

Even so, this is what she had hoped for – for Thor's sake at least – and though she regrets that this incredible person who completely lacks within his subconscious the trait of deception has to bear the pain of a betrayal so close to his heart, there is hope for him at the end of this bridge – and grateful more than ever for the masks she has learned to wear upon her expression, Aella hides her pain and doubts, encouraging Thor to go with his friends.

The arrival of 'the Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three', as they have introduced themselves seems to explain her earlier anxiety, and this fact is of comfort to Aella until suddenly just outside the small town, in what she recognizes as the location where she had first met Thor, the sky churns, and when the funnel-cloud dissipates, there is a gigantic humanoid metal robot – if, Aella wonders, they even have robots in Asgard, because that is probably where this once came from – and the icy dread forming knots in her stomach only grows when she rests a hand gently on Thor's arm and can tell from the emotions burning within him and his thoughts that this "Destroyer" as he refers to it – is here on a mission of indiscriminate destruction, though it's primary target is likely Thor himself.

The fear she feels only grows when Thor turns to her and tells her to leave, both because it is proof of the enormity of this danger and because it is clear that he is staying behind – but she feels somewhat consoled at the fact that he seems to know his limitations in this mortal form and has not stayed to fight by the side of his far-less fragile friends, choosing instead to evacuate the non-combatants from harm's way.

In response to his request of her, though Aella replies:

"I'm not leaving without you – and I can help here too.", and though he sighs lightly, Thor does not argue with her as they crowd civilians into the largest vehicles they can find and send them away.

Knowing they may not have enough transport space for everyone and remembering the truck-stop nearby, Aella steps away from Thor's side for a few moments to climb into the passenger side of the one empty truck parked there, just in time for the driver to get in, trapping his wrist in a secure hold as he is about to turn the keys in the ignition and telling him that he cannot leave just yet.

She is not surprised when he tries to pull away from her, having only one clear intention – the natural desire to escape the oncoming danger, but it is just as unsurprising that he freezes in abject terror when he feels the barrel of her pistol pressed against his forehead, and she hisses, nodding to the explosions clearly visible as the Destroyer continues on its path:

"You can either help get the rest of these people to safety or get out and I'll do it, while you can try your luck with that thing."

He agrees with her terms, and climbs out, letting the rest of the townspeople climb into his truck before he drives away with them, but any satisfaction that Aella feels at this small victory is drowned out by the hopeless fight unfolding before her, as the four warriors from Asgard are doing all they can to fight the Destroyer and still failing to even slow the path of burning wreckage it is carving though the now thankfully-desolate town.

She shoots at the Destroyer, unsurprised but angry all the same that even the rounds which have hit within the open faceplate do absolutely nothing, finally dropping the pistol and resorting to her other ability, hurling a slab of broken concrete at the metal monster. This time her effort is rewarded by the Destroyer staggering for a second, before it responds with a blast of flame that disintegrates the car that she is hiding behind, throwing her against the nearby wall.

Struggling to her knees, she tries to lift another piece of the wreckage in her own defense as the Destroyer moves closer to her, but is too disoriented and distracted by the numerous aches the impact has left to be able to achieve the concentration necessary, and she is only saved from the next blast by Thor who makes a mad dash ahead of it carrying her to safety, even as their team is forced into a retreat.

Logically Aella knows this fight is already lost, knows that even if there is anyone on Earth who can stand against this …. thing…. even they will probably loose ultimately – and will not arrive in time to save the lives that it will inevitably end in it's flaming path of destruction. But she is unwilling to accept the fact, struggling instead to calm herself enough to use her abilities – until the inevitability of her worst fears settles upon her – this time in the form of Thor who is sending his friends back to his home-world to stop his wayward and destructive sibling, and that in itself is more a proof than anything else that he too knows this fight is already lost.

Even that sense of hopelessness, though, is nothing in comparison to the crushing pain and desperation filling her when Thor responds to their concerns about his safety with a smile of forced confidence, saying:

"Do not worry, my friends – I have a plan."

Even without contact with him, she can see that the confidence in his tone is a diversion – just as much as the shield he holds is - and even though there is only one plan at this point that can make a difference, she cannot bear the thought of him carrying it out.

It seems that only she realizes this, because they turn away – no doubt to carry out what he has asked, and then Thor turns to her, telling her with a small smile even as he avoids any physical contact that would give away his thoughts and feelings:

"I need you to get out of here, for now – it is too dangerous."

Aella sighs, her fears only confirmed by words that in her mind say only too clearly: '_I don't want you to watch this._', but she turns away regardless, letting him think she has agreed, only to stop as the clatter of the dropped shield against the unforgiving ground provides the final proof of the nightmare haunting her – and she turns around only to see Thor, completely defenseless and not intending to defend himself walking towards the metal personification of death that has come for him.

Desperate again, she sprints to his side, taking his right wrist in her left hand as she pulls him to a stop and tentatively places her right palm against his cheek, turning his head to look at her as she says softly, desperately:

"Don't do this Thor – this fight is not over."

This time there is nothing false in his answering sad smile as he says equally gently, raising his right hand to gently trace the back of hers:

"I must. This battle cannot be won – and I will not see another die on my account."

She can feel in his emotions more than ever his love for her, and the unspoken '_least of all, you_' in his thoughts, but she also knows why he does not voice them – not wanting to give substance to the fears she had spoken of, the night before. She can also sense in Thor's thoughts the certainty that his assessment is correct, and knowing that by trying to hinder his plans, all she will obtain is to force Thor to watch her die, she simply nods, closing her eyes as she tries to fight the tears welling up, unable to meet the crystalline blue gaze that is focused upon her.

It is Thor's voice that breaks the silence, offering with a forced sense of fragile hope:

"Loki still is my brother…."

Aella forces herself to meet his gaze, biting back the response that had almost reached her lips, and was gleaned from her perception of his emotions: '_You don't believe that will help_'. Instead she simply nods once more, forcing a broken smile of her own – because he deserves her support since it is all she has to offer – and retreats to the safety of a corner, even as she feels her heart ache with every step away from him.

She forces herself to watch as Thor walks without any hesitation towards the metal executioner, heart breaking as she hears his softly spoken words to a brother he knows can hear him though this instrument of death, and the fact that she knows those words are completely genuine - that they are not a simply ploy for mercy, but rather fueled by the unchallenged love that Thor still holds for his younger sibling which was only too evident to her when he had told her '_Loki still is my brother_.', the love that remains even as the Destroyer prepares to kill him, and Thor asks him to do so but spare everyone else – makes the pain she feels at hearing this softly-spoken confession that much more unbearable:

"Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry…..

But these people are innocent.

Taking their lives will gain you nothing…..

So take mine…. and end this."

She draws in a shuddering breath, grasping for the desperate hope that fills her as the fires within the Destroyer are banked and its faceplate closes, telling herself that the bond between brothers had been ultimately enough. She breaths a sigh of relief as the executioner turns away – only to have her hopes and heart crushed when it suddenly spins around, delivering to Thor what she knows only too well is a fatal blow – and even from her position she can hear the sickening crunch of shattering bone as he is hurled through the air from the force of the impact.

Aella tries to cry out in denial of the terrible truth, but it seems as if her voice has been torn from her along with the source of the last precious hope in a world of darkness, and she runs to the side of the fallen hero, reaching him as she hears him struggle to take an anguished breath.

It is too late, but though she knows that she can do nothing for him now, she still kneels by his side, cradling his head between her hands even while she is careful not to jostle him and cause any more pain, while the tears she has been fighting for so long to suppress finally overflow.

Even though he is so close to an ever-approaching death that his words are barely audible, the relief in them is only too clear:

"It's over."

She shakes her head in desperation, not because she can fool herself into thinking that he is not dying, not because she can silence the logical part of her brain that even now is rattling off facts: '_Multiple cervical fractures… spinal shock… mortality inevitable_.'. Instead her broken whispered "No" is a precursor to the thoughts she cannot bring herself to speak:

'_No… Why could you not have been selfish? Why did you have to sacrifice yourself….. No… I cannot loose you._'

This time, he smiles through his pain, clarifying in a whisper that becomes only weaker:

"I mean, you're safe…. It's over."

It is the heartfelt selfless happiness within him which overpowers the muted resignation and loss he feels which finally breaks her attempt to hide her sorrow, and a first violent sob rips through her, choking any response she could have found to his words.

Seconds later, Thor breathes his last – and the only thing Aella can do is rest her head over his bloodied chest, weeping bitterly.

She cannot bring herself to care that she is being watched, cannot bring herself to care that perhaps the Destroyer will strike again. With all the pain she has endured in her life, nothing has prepared her for this utterly devastating unbearable anguish, and unable to hold it within any longer, she throws her head back, shifting into a crouch over the broken body that had once held within it so brilliant a soul, and lets loose an inhuman scream of anguish and rage to the uncaring universe.

Of all the times in her life she has screamed, none have ever approached this vocalization of total loss – and none have ever been this absolutely pointless.

She screams again, the self-control she has so carefully built over the years utterly shattered along with her heart, and this time she feels strong but feminine hands resting on her shoulders, in an attempt at comfort, even as she can feel through the touch Sif's grief, but as she lowers her head and tries to stop these inhuman cries, the first thing she sees ahead of her is the Destroyer, walking away – completely uncaring of her loss, and though she knows it is both stupid and beyond useless, that realization causes some final barrier to break within her, and she tosses a careless hand over her shoulder, throwing the Aesir away from her with a diffuse kinetic blast which is more insult than injury, while she stands facing the still-retreating Destroyer, fueled by the uncontrollable loss and rage burning within her for the mortal god whose body lies lifeless behind her.

Still the Destroyer ignores her, ignores her curses, but it does not fail to notice when the unhinged door of a car crashes into the back of its head, and it turns once again to face her.

Its response with a blast of flame is expected, and finding herself more in control of her abilities than ever before, Aella deflects it to the side, leaving her unharmed.

Ironic, really, that in any other circumstance emotion had always served as a hindrance to her abilities – yet now it has become so all-consuming that it is the fuel, almost as if she has become the living embodiment of her pain and rage….. which is perhaps all that remains of her.

She hears Sif call out a warning to her, senses more than sees the four trying to approach behind her, but again she forces them away, and hurls another piece of debris, this time a piece of sidewalk, at the Destroyer.

Even now as she hurls everything within her power at the executioner, she can see that she is not doing any real damage, even if she has forced it to a standstill. At the same time, she can feel the overuse of this ability draining her strength, see it in the fact that each blast of flame she deflects comes just a bit closer – and she knows just as she has always known that she will loose this fight, but she does not care. She has nothing left to loose, and though she knows Thor would not have wanted this, all she had agreed to was not to make him see her die, and now he never will. Her own survival now that he is gone is another matter entirely.

This time the blast burns her arm as she deflects it, but she hardly registers the pain, barely can feel it in comparison to the emotional pain filling her, and strangely it does not stop her from sending more debris by return mail.

If it is even possible, her anger builds when she hears and sees what appears to be a small inbound …. missile - for lack of a better description – and needing to deal with one threat at a time, she angrily uses more energy than perhaps is wise to throw the Destroyer into a building, hoping to buy enough time to deflect the missile, though she is not even sure why it matters because Thor is already gone forever, so what is an explosion at this point?

Again, Aella hears Sif calling to her, approaching her to pull her out of the way, and again, she forces her would-be savior back, even as she tries to deflect the missile. For some reason though she puts everything she has left into the effort, it does not even budge, fractionally – as if there is some inexorable force drawing it closer. A small part in her brain tells her she should move – should drop into a roll and get away as fast as possible, but she cannot find the will to do so, finally choosing to stand fast in her pointless defensive position – until an impact with the front of her chest sends her flying, and this time the crunch of bones is her own.

There is something ironic in the fact that it is now she who is laying on the ground, too broken to move, and Sif who is kneeling beside her, but ultimately there is something relieving about the darkness that she can feel reaching for her, and even as she instinctually struggles to breathe against what feels like a lead weight on her chest and chokes on blood welling in the back of her throat – even as that irritating part of her mind supplies:

'_Pulmonary laceration, hemopneumothorax…_', she simply cannot bring herself to care.

Everything changes when the brilliant lightning flashing before her registers in her murky thoughts, and though she can barely see within the blinding bluish light, she knows that Thor is no-longer laying lifeless and broken on the ground, that through the blinding light she can see flashes of armor and red, and raised to the sky in what has to be Thor's hand is Mjolnir.

It is with sudden embarrassment that she realizes that the 'missile' she had tried to deflect was Mjolnir, coming back to Thor's hand – but even the realization of her own stupidity at not recognizing it sooner pales in comparison to the unimaginable joy filling her, because just when all had been lost, it was regained, and Thor is not simply living and breathing again…. He is no-longer mortal.

In some quiet corner of her mind, the catalog of injuries finishes with a sarcastic: '_fatality inevitable…. well, shit._', because more than anything she regrets that she is dying and Thor will be there to see it…. but even that is somehow muted as she sees the Destroyer reappear, only to be faced with an entirely different situation, only to be vacuumed up into Thor's own personal hurricane, and despite the fact she can barely breathe, she finds herself laughing.

With the Destroyer vanquished, and turned to a pancake by falling cars, Thor emerges from the fading storm, radiating the power within him, and looking every inch a god of lightning and thunder, while still holding in those electric blue eyes all the brilliant and warm sincerity she had always loved him for.

But quickly his expression of triumph is replaced by despair as he sees her on the ground and runs to her side – and in another twist of irony, it is in this moment that the first flare of truly unbearable pain flares in her chest, wrenching a scream from her lips – which is the absolute last thing she would have wanted Thor to have to hear, as if seeing her like this is not bad enough.

The second time it hits, Thor is by her side, trying to comfort her even as she thrashes violently in a failed effort to not cry out again in response to the burning pain in her chest which feels absolutely nothing like it should …. but what is truly disturbing, for lack of a better term is that Aella knows she should not have the strength to thrash like this – she was only seconds earlier barely able to breathe, she should not be able to get enough air to make this much noise.

This time when the burning pain passes, it takes away with it that of the broken bones and bleeding lungs, and when Aella takes a cautious deep breath, nothing hurts….. somehow she has been healed.

Thor realizes this as fast as she does, and immediately pulls her close in an embrace, smiling with relief and happiness even as he says softly, his whisper holding within it all the grief that nearly loosing her had caused him:

"What were you thinking?"

Rather than answer that particularly embarrassing question, she lets the other Aesir fill Thor in on the details, while she simply enjoys having him alive and well this close to her.

Aella is forced to provide an answer when Sif demands an explanation for those final seconds, and she finally settles on:

"I thought it was a missile and I was trying to uh….deflect it."

In response to Thor's puzzled look, Aella quickly explains:

"It's a long-range Earth weapon."

The main topic of contention now turns to how she – a mortal – survived after being struck by Mjolnir, and it is when Aella is suggesting her own theory and sheepishly rubbing at the now-healed point of impact that she first notices the raised pattern she can feel through her shirt:

"Maybe it's because it was not trying to hit me – I was sort-of just standing in the way?"

Any response to that theory, however is lost in her own confusion as she pulls down the collar of her shirt far enough to reveal what she had felt seconds earlier: a raised metallic triquetra that seems to match the material Mjolnir is made of, and seems permanently grafted to her chest where it had hit her, and lost in confusion, she only manages to ask flatly:

"Okay, what's happening to me?"

This time it is Thor who answers, showing her an identical symbol etched on the side of Mjolnir, saying:

"It seems Mjolnir judged you worthy of… a gift."

Aella does not even know what to say to that statement, but fortunately she does not need too because at that moment Thor stands, pulling her to her feet as well, and addresses his friends in a commanding tone:

"We must go to the Bifrost site. I would have words with my brother."

She cannot help but think that having more than simply words is warranted in the situation, but before she can comment, one of the agents who had held her and Thor prisoner only days before suddenly arrives, and clearly wants an explanation.

Her irritation at seeing him arrive now of all times is almost impossible to hold onto as she tries not to laugh at the rather comedic contrast between a fully armed-and armored - thunder god and the entirely human operative who apparently has the nerve to strut up to him demanding answers, but it is Thor who settles the issue with as much information as he will give, telling the agent that he will be there to stand beside them in defense of Earth if he is needed – as long as they do her no harm, and though Aella feels strangely unconcerned about her own fate after everything that has happened this day, she cannot help but smile at Thor's concern for her – until it is coupled with the reality that he is asking this because he is about to leave, and though she knows this is as it should be, she does not know how she can say goodbye again.

Before she can dwell on it, she is held tightly to Thor's side as he flies through the air, and her melancholy thoughts are quickly driven away by the pure joy of flight…. and for once she catches a vague glimpse of how much Thor had lost when he had become mortal.

...

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	15. Chapter 15

Hello, everyone!

Before anyone gives up hope, I have not abandoned writing these fics, nor all you wonderful people who have encouraged me so much!

I apologize for the fact that this is not an update, but rather an explanation, because the situation certainly calls for one. (I'll replace this with an actual chapter soon)

Though I'd like to say that my absence was due to a surprise vacation, it was far less pleasant, involving an accident on the ranch where I work, three broken fingers and a (still present) cast on my right hand.

To compund matters, a very-much-loved but sadly computer-illiterate family member who was letting me stay with her while learning to fend for myself with just my non-dominant hand manages to get my laptop a virus which corrupted my hard drive, AVG not-withstanding, so I am writing this on a public computer at the library.

The good news though is that when I got this computer I bought from HP an service plan that still is in effect, and today I talked to the technician who told me that most of my hard-drive is recoverable! and I should have my computer back (fixed!) within the week.

So, I promise an update to both **"Stark Realizations" **and **"Heart of the Storm" **within the week!, while meanwhile, I am going to upload the next chapter of **"Ouroboros" **right now since it was spared from disaster being safely saved on my thumbdrive.

I guess one valuable lesson I have learned the hard way is to always back up my data!

Anyway, sorry for all the waiting!

Sincerely,

AG.

PS: I'll be back soon!


	16. Chapter 16

A/N:

0) I posted this on 2/28 as a chapter replacement to my earlier note, but as of yesterday was imformed by a friend who has me on story-alert that she got nothing, so I am going to revert to posting it as usual - my deepest apologies for the delay.

1) Sorry this took longer than expected (to write up), but apparently restoring my computer from factory configuration to what I'm used to - as well as sorting though the data dump that resulted since apparently file location information was among the lost data (assuming I understood their explanation correctly) is taking me longer than I expected. Add to that the fact that I'm a slow typist normally and now that I got half the fingers to work with, I'm sloooooower... sorry again!

2)Sincere thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: 4mermaidstear, Avrice the Demigod, and addy. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

3) As I usually forget to mention, I own nothing!

...

...

She sees it written in the sky – knows the moment when the rainbows fill the churning clouds above them. Knows that the fittingly termed rainbow bridge is reaching out to take him home – and though she had always knows this moment was coming, though she had promised herself that when it was time to say goodbye to Thor she would do it – for his sake – she feels like something is breaking inside her as he kisses her hand and tells her goodbye:

"I must go back to Asgard, but I give you my word - I will return, for you."

Aella throws her arms around him, embracing his armored form tightly, trying to come to terms with having to let go of him… and of all the thoughts racing through her mind, of all the emotions filling her, she finally settles on a sad smile as she pulls away, and whispers:

"Be safe, Thor."

Forcing herself to watch as he and his companions start to vanish before her eyes, something finally snaps within her, and she throws herself into the rainbow-colored funnel cloud where Thor is standing, suddenly finding herself pulled into what is almost like the current of a river of light – only able to find some sense of balance and existence when she sees a somewhat immaterial Thor looking at her in shock and concern, before wrapping an arm around her and holding her close as he rides the current.

Before she can truly be aware of time elapsing, she is in Thor's arms in a vast metal chamber – practically hanging onto him to remain standing when her body is not yet sure which way is up, and while he snaps into the leadership mode that is so natural to him, finishing with a statement of his intention to handle the situation with his brother, she simple stays in his arms, eyes closed – wondering just how much of a mess she has made, and why after all this she'd been unable to let go when she had at some level always known it would come to this.

The name of his brother pulls her from her musings, filling her with enough anger and bitterness to drive away caution again, and when Thor asks her why she had come, while gently admonishing her for doing so, though he is only concerned for her safety, not angry, she simply replies softly:

"I know I shouldn't have…. I just couldn't let you go –especially knowing that this fight is not over."

Before Thor can reply she hears his thoughts – feels his fear for her safety and concern over the fact that his father was not fond of uninvited guests on Asgard, and in reply to both, Aella says seriously:

"I'll be fine, Thor – I can take care of myself…. and as for your father, if he wants me out of here he can kick me back to earth…. I just want to know that you'll be okay."

If it is even possible, Thor's concern for her grows, and he says gently, sadly even:

"Aella, you're a skilled warrior, but you're also mortal, and you wouldn't stand a chance against my brother if you had to fight him."

Before he can ask her to promise, Aella interjects:

"I know, and I'm not planning to."

Sensing some of Thor's concern wash away, Aella feels guilty, because while she has told him the truth at present, her plans might change, unlikely as it is for such a situation to ever arise… and though she is not sure what exactly she is at present – after all as the mortal she had been she would be dead right now already, and after her little altercation with Mjolnir, she is not sure what she ism, though immortal is definitely not one of the options – if circumstances force her to act, and she does wind up dead, she does not want Thor's last memory of her to be a blatant lie.

Unaware of her inner turmoil, Thor pulls her close, taking to the sky with Mjolnir, only to set her down by one of the supports of the most magnificent bridge she has ever seen, and as helps her hide within the structure, he instructs her to stay there until he comes for her – a request which Aella can only respond to with a mute nod.

It is not long after Thor leaves flying, that Aella sees a figure riding to the Bifrost chamber, and at first she shrinks back into her hiding-place – until realization dawns upon her and she feels a cold weight settle in the pit of her stomach. It is only too easy to recognize the green-clad figure, and the horned helmet – she has seen both only too many times within Thor's fond memories of his brother… and as she voicelessly whispers his name: "Loki", rage and bitterness overtake the flash of fear that had initially filled her, and driven by her bitterness and anger, as well as the conviction that the person who had just killed his brother could be up to no good now, she finds herself about to investigate the issue for herself when she sees Thor flying in pursuit of his brother.

As she quietly walks the edge of the bridge, staying out of sight of the two figures within the chamber who are thankfully only arguing at the moment, not fighting, she hears clearly their words – flinches when in response to the imminent destruction of a realm, Thor swings Mjolnir to break the ice-tree that is holding the Bifrost mechanism open – and is rewarded for his efforts with a short-range energy blast from Gungnir – or at least what Aella thinks has to be Gungnir based on her review of Norse mythology.

Her horror abates somewhat when Thor stands, seemingly unharmed, and it transforms into rekindled rage when she hears the reasons Loki presents for his actions, thinking bitterly that unlike Thor, Loki boils down to being just another ruthless power-hungry person, no better than the humans of the same mentality who made Earth a very unpleasant place at certain times in human history.

Peering in from her place just outside the chamber, Aella listens to the unfolding argument – wishing more than once that Thor would go on the offensive and punish Loki for what he has done…. though since Thor is now alive, she does not know if it makes sense to want Loki dead.

She takes advantage of the brothers' distraction to sneak into the chamber and behind the ice-tree, pulled from her futile study of the gargantuan frozen device when Loki lashes out at Thor with the shaft of Gungnir, throwing him across the room as he demands a physical confrontation.

When he speaks again, Loki yells in a voice ragged with emotion... emotion which sounds suspiciously like hurt that has festered for so long it has become bitterness: " I never wanted the throne! I only ever wanted to be your equal!"

Shifting slightly to stay out of sight, Aella sighs quietly, as she starts to consider the possibility that Loki's actions were perhaps fuelled by desperation which had built up over centuries…. that finally he had reached a breaking point of sorts, and though it is not clear to her why Thor had become one of the first recipients of his retaliation – especially when she knows from reading the Thunderer's emotions that he loved his younger sibling, and still does even after Loki had caused his death – she finds herself wishing that this could somehow not end in the impending disaster she cannot help but fear.

She does not need to read his thoughts right now to know that Thor's unwillingness to fight back, even as he gets to his feet again, stems from the fact that he still loves Loki and does not want this conflict to reach a point of no-return for either of them, just as much as she knows that Thor is not any more certain than she what lies at the root of this conflict, and it shows in the confusion which mingles with the honesty and desperation in his yelled reply: "I will not fight you, brother!"

Loki's next words only raise more questions for Aella, because suddenly he seems defeated rather than angry, and his tone drops to an icy whisper: "I'm not your brother - I never was."

Knowing from Thor's memories that he and Loki were siblings, and that for a long time they had been very happy together, leaves Aella only able to agree with Thor's bewildered and hurt:

"Loki, that is madness!"

She can only watch as something shatters within Loki at those words, and his voice transitions from hurt and betrayal to a bitter wounded rage:

"Is it madness?... is it!...is it!" – and even as the realization sinks in that there is too much that she does not understand about this, too much that perhaps even Thor does not know about this disaster– she realizes that Loki is lashing out in desperation, inciting Thor with words since attacking him physically did not provoke him enough, and though she still is angry at him for killing Thor only hours earlier, though she had wanted to see him pay for his actions, right at this moment as she watches him crumbling even while lashing out like a wounded animal, as she notices the faint streaks of tears on his cheeks, all she can think to ask herself is what pain could have possibly driven him to the edge.

Hoping to prevent a conflict, she steps out of her hiding place, even as Loki finishes what she hopes is an idle threat – but might very well not be, since after all he did kill his own brother, regardless of his reasons for doing it, so why would he spare her:

"….. Don't tell me it was that woman!... Oh, it was!, well, maybe when we're finished here, I'll pay her a visit myself!"

Noticing Thor tensing to fight – in response to the one threat he cannot and will not ignore, she steps out from her hiding place, saying pleasantly, too pleasantly in fact:

"Well, if you wanted to visit me, why didn't you just say so in the first place."

Aella hides a small smile at the fact that her action has had the intended effect, shocking both brothers into momentary inaction, and as she walks closer, noticing Loki's piercing gaze land on her…as if sizing her up, she hides the flurry of fear bubbling within her, letting only confidence show in her gait.

Seconds later, Thor is at her side, protectively putting himself between her and Loki, while he places an arm around her, intending to fly her to safety, but before he can do so, she uses their contact to send him a thought: '_We don't have time for this, Thor. Let me keep him busy, I'll buy you time to close the Bifrost'_

Thor shakes his head vehemently, thinking in reply:

'_You'll die.'_

Aella smiles slightly:_ 'Despite what Loki said, I don't think he actually wants to kill me. After all I'm just a human, which probably makes killing me beneath him… don't you agree?'_

This time the Thunderer's thoughts are broken and hopeless, while his pain associated with the thought cuts deeply into her own heart:

'_Once, I would have agreed with you, but I don't know what's happened to my brother….I feel like I don't know him anymore._'

This time, Aella's smile is sad, but she tries to remain hopeful and confident as she replies:

'_I get the risks, but we have to close the bridge, this is bigger than us, Thor – you know it…. and maybe, just maybe if you let me do this I can find out why all this is happening._

_I've always done what I felt was needed… don't stop me now.'_

Finally Thor releases her, ignoring Loki's taunt about him being so soft he is hiding behind a woman, and knowing that Loki cannot leave this unanswered – especially considering his goal of provoking Thor to fight him, Aella taunts cynically:

"So here I am – what's the matter, scared of a woman?"

Loki glares at her, then sidesteps and is about to charge at his brother who is studying the ice tree holding the Bifrost mechanism open, while he says shortly:

"This fight's not yours."

Stepping in front of him, Aella retorts, letting all the hurt and rage she had felt – and if she is honest still feels – toward him flood her being, hoping to draw strength from it in the coming battle:

"When you start hurting the people who matter to me, it becomes my fight, so you're not going to weasel your way out of this one."

Not waiting for a reply, she takes a swing at him, which has the desired effect of plunging her into a fight with a far superior opponent. 

Within the first thirty seconds, she has realized that she will loose, while her hopes of reading Loki's thoughts to try and understand why he turned on his brother in the first place are crushed when contact proves too costly, as with the first contact that she allows – blocking a swing of Gungnir so that his hand touches her forearm– results in a fractured ulna.

All she is able to glean from the momentary bone-crushing contact is that he is not interested in killing her – but plans to hurt her, and use her pain to provoke Thor, a possibility that her own decisions have made dangerously possible. Despite that, though, she also senses a deep-seated pain and utter loneliness eating at Loki, senses that his seeming madness is actually desperation and rage fuelled by pain and hopelessness, and though she does not know why he bears this burden…. she cannot ignore the fact that Loki is not what she expected.

Aella had expected Loki to be a monster – to be a soul filled with only darkness – because how else could he have killed his own brother, especially Thor who loved him so dearly, especially when Thor was powerless to defend himself….. but now she knows that it's not so simple - and even as she spins to avoid the point of the spear which misses her by a hair, and fails to dodge the follow-up swing from the opposite end which hits her, cracking a few ribs – she feels the consuming hatred she had felt before towards Loki dissipate… because now she knows that what Loki is broken, not simply evil.

She does not let herself be distracted when she hears the crash of Mjolnir against the ice, and the room shakes…. instead forcing herself to remain focused on simply evading the incoming assault since she knows she is not strong enough to counter Loki's blows, and even though as time goes on she takes more and more hits, she is less tired than the should be – and finds herself wondering if this is what Mjolnir had given her.

Finally, Loki is angry enough to stop toying with her, and Aella realizes that this game has just become deadly when he levels Gungnir at her, and she reacts a second too late to move from its path.

The bolt of energy hits her squarely in the chest, and Aella dimly registers Thor's pained roar as he sees it strike home, before all sensation is drowned out by the consuming burning pain radiating from where she was hit.

...

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	17. Chapter 17

A/N:

A/N:

1) Sorry again for the long wait - Apparently I move, type, and live at less than half my usual speed with half the usual number of usable hands, though it certainly gives me a greater appreciation for the people who manage to keep functioning with handicaps.

2)Sincere thanks for reviews,encouragement, and good advice goes to: Avrice the Demigod, AdaYuki, and mermaidstear. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

3) Sorry for leaving you all so long with a cliffie, though this is sort of another.. eep!...Will update again ASAP!

...

...

Regret is the only thing she has the time to feel – regret that again her choices have brought Thor to watch her die, and this time there will be no salvation, regret that in trying to prevent a confrontation between the two brothers she has just made catastrophe inevitable, for both of them although in different ways.

The cynical, more logical part of her mind still supplies its irritating announcement: "_Fatality inevitable_", even as it idly wonders how long this will take to kill her, because that much at least is inevitable ….. up until the moment that she realizes that for some reason she has not yet collapsed to the floor, that the pain she registers is only a surface sensation of burning that seems related to the now glowing triquetra on her skin.

If it was even possible her shock increases when suddenly there is a blinding blast of energy fired from the silver-again triquetra – straight in the direction that the original had come from – and she can only suppose that whatever this …. gift…. is has deflected the energy blast, leaving her unharmed, though the same certainly cannot be said for her shirt which is now sporting a charred hole in the middle.

Thor's gaze shows that he is as shocked as she is – and incredibly relieved – but she resists the urge to run to him, instead seizing the admittedly slim chance to get the better of her opponent in a fight where the odds have suddenly been dramatically tipped in her favor by the fact that Loki – who was himself apparently surprised enough that he too had not moved in time – is currently lying on his back motionless.

She has no illusions that he is anything more than stunned – though he did take the reflected blast squarely in his unprotected throat – he is not human after all, and while part of her wryly wonders if this new feature -for lack of a better term - would reflect bullets as well, the greatest part of her feels oddly relieved even if more tense when she sees Loki sit up, dazed but not severely injured.

Before he can rise, and taking advantage of his disorientation, Aella throws herself on him, pushing him onto his back and using her telekinetic ability to keep him down.

She had not used it much before when fighting, having found that Loki was much too fast for her to be able to focus at all, but now is the perfect opportunity, and as she crouches above him, holding down his wrists with her hands and his knees with her own, she channels all her thoughts into holding him securely….. and tries not to worry about the way the entire chamber shakes and crackles each time Thor slams Mjolnir into the ice.

Aella feels somewhat uneasy when she feels Loki push against her –not physically, but mentally. For one thing it means he knows how this ability works and the fact of it is somewhat disturbing. More importantly while she had every confidence in her ability to maintain a telekinetic hold against physical resistance, this is entirely different, and far harder….. and it takes every bit of concentration and strength left within her to maintain her grip on him…. barely.

She knows Loki is trying to break her concentration by angering her when he snarls in her face that Thor is truly pathetic for hiding behind his miserable mortal girlfriend for protection – and she knows that she should not let the accusation get to her, but Loki's words, though entirely untrue cut far too deeply, and since she knows she cannot avoid anger, she decides to at least channel it into the kind of anger that had given her strength before, forcing herself to remember the moment that Thor had walked up to the Destroyer… to remember his last breath and the consuming love, pain and rage that had filled her then, just as they are filling her now.

Aella knows it's a low blow but she is too bitter and angry to care about that fact, and she snarls in reply:

"Yeah, well, call it what you like, but you're more pathetic, 'cause you're not a miserable mortal but you choose to act just like the worst of them. Murdering your own brother over a petty power-struggle? And you say you wanted to be Thor's equal? He'd never do that and you know it."

Loki's tone is calm – too calm – when he replies simply:

"He's not my brother."

She feels that she wants to argue with him, to tell him that choosing to disown his brother does not nullify a life shared…. but then she feels his emotions… and they're nothing like what she had expected.

She had expected hate and malice, maybe even pure evil…. instead all she feels is an unbearable crushing loneliness and desolation, the certainty that he is unloved and unlovable. Reaching out to know his memories, she sees a conversation between him and Odin, knows the irrefutable truth of his words, and worst of all, she feels how hopeless and broken it had left him.

'_So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?' _

'_Why must you twist my words?'_

'_You could've told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?' _

'_You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.' _

'_What, because I'm … I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?..._

_You know, it all makes sense now why you favored Thor all these years… because you claimed to love me, you could never have a frost-giant sitting on the throne of Asgard.'_

Suddenly it all makes sense, and though she is far from being able to forgive Loki like she knows Thor would, she does understand why Loki had become so desperate and so dangerous. She knows what it is like to be utterly alone in all the world, she has lived it for most of a lifetime and cannot fathom having to endure it for hundreds of years, and while up until the recent event that had perhaps finally and truly broken Loki, he had not known the truth of his origins, he had at some level never fit in.

Angry and bitter though she is, it is hard to hold on to the justified condemnations when she knows that pain and desperation had been the catalysts for his actions, that he had hated himself more than he ever hated Thor…. perhaps even more than the race he had tried to exterminate…. his race, and the inescapable connection linking him to an identity he only knew to hate.

She reflects that she had been lucky – lucky to have had adoptive parents who had helped her to accept her differences rather than ignoring them, and though she will never stop regretting the price her family had paid for that honesty, she understands Loki's pain and bitterness that he never knew.

In a sickening moment of clarity, Aella knows that perhaps the worst hurt of all for Loki was the assumption that even Thor had known and lied to him for all those hundreds of years…. and that in light of that assumption, nothing he had ever felt for Thor counted since it was all based on a lie…..

She sighs lightly. She hurts for Thor who never had lied to Loki and always loved him, yet has perhaps forever lost him to bitterness and irreparable rifts between them, but she also hurts for Loki who is utterly alone now and thinks he always was… who has always had the love he so desperately craves yet cannot believe any of it and that in itself makes his burden that much more unbearable…. and unfortunately her change in perspective must show on her features, because suddenly Loki figures it out.

The instant he realizes she is reading his thoughts, he launches his own mental offensive, and it slams into her like a wall of ice, shocking her back to reality.

Perhaps it is the ensuing dizziness, or maybe the fact that her own anger has lessened greatly, which has left her weaker than before she understood. This time when he pushes against her telekinetic hold, she cannot resist, and before she can think to react, she is pinned down against the unforgiving surface with one of his hands holding her throat in an ever tightening vice.

As blackness encroaches upon her vision and her chest burns, Aella reflects upon the irony that now she understands what had driven Loki to this point, now she wishes she could help him, not hurt him any further, and yet in this moment she is in more mortal danger from him than ever before, perhaps because the fact that she can know his thoughts and feel his emotions has made him vulnerable in a sense…. exposed in a way he never wished to be, and he cannot let her live now that she has seen past his façade of ruthlessness to the horrifying devastation and loss within him.

She does not try to throw him – she knows that much is futile anyway. Instead she focuses the last of her dwindling energy on telekinesis, forcing the crushing grip on her airway to loosen enough to allow her a desperate breath of air with which she whispers:

"You really think knowing would have made you happier?"

Unable to speak any more when breathing is such an enormous struggle, she continues mentally, knowing Loki will hear her:

"_Do you really think that having to live every second knowing you'll never belong, knowing your world would hate you if you revealed the truth…. knowing you'll never truly be safe or at peace….. you think it makes anything easier?..._

_You're wrong about that…I'd know, I've lived it….._

_My family told me the truth – they taught me to accept my differences…. yet the burden of knowing and having to keep it a secret forever was too much…. and because I wanted to be accepted by my world for who I really was…. my family was murdered…. and I've spent all my life being hunted."_

It is the last chance she has to make her life matter in the end, so she gives it everything, dredging up memories that for her own sanity, she had forced to stay hidden deep within her scarred subconscious.

Instead of trying to hold to the reminder that it is over… forever, she lets herself slip into the whirlpool of blood, tears, betrayal, and utter loss –lets the memories pull her down unhindered so he can know what the truth had cost her and those closest to her… and perhaps at some level he wants to know, because he does not break the connection until it is over, until in her memories, she had finally settled in a tiny town, trying to deny everything that she once was to escape the pain and desolation…. trying to never look back and never move forward so there would not be a past.

Upon returning to reality, Aella reflects it might have been worth it, because though Loki's grip on her throat is still tightening as she grows weaker and is less able to resist, there is something in those emerald eyes that is fractionally more open than before…. more willing to be vulnerable.

Even as her vision starts to tunnel again, Aella thinks challengingly:_ "You really think it would have been different for you? You truly believe that your world would have been so much more accepting than mine?_"

Loki does not reply verbally, but Aella can sense his desperation and confusion, she feels the conflict raging within him as his desperation to be loved and to belong wars with anger and betrayal…. while an ever growing part of him is convinced he is unworthy of love…. and when finally he settles on anger and betrayal, the two emotions that in the end are perhaps least painful, she feels the last of her hope start to flicker and die, in synchrony with her stuttering heartbeat as the burning in her chest increases and instinctual panic begins to overtake her as the blackness begins to pull her down.

The chamber shakes violently, and she is reminded of Thor …. Thor who will loose both her and his brother if she fails now…. and forcing her heartbeat to calm as she fights against the crushing grip on her throat for one last breath, Aella chokes out quietly:

"Thor never lied to you, Loki…. he…always…loved you."

Unable to speak, she amends mentally:

"_Even to the end._"

She weeps again as she lets herself remember Thor's emotions when he had approached the Destroyer, lets herself remember the softly spoken words he had uttered which had been so truthful it hurt….. She lets herself feel again the love that had fueled them, knowing Loki will feel through her what she had experienced then….. and finally….. finally…. it is enough.

Something breaks within Loki, but this time it is not another fragment of his shattered soul. Instead it is a barrier, a wall he had created to protect himself from unreachable dreams…. and now that he knows that at least his brother's love had been no deception, he finally can find some peace…. something solid to hold to in the spiraling chaotic disaster that is his life.

Loki releases the pressure on her neck, allowing her to suck in enormous desperate gasps of air, even though his hand still rests over her throat, and as he vision clears she realizes that he is weeping.

For a fraction of a second she is happy for him – happy that he is at last letting out some of the pain that has been destroying him inside – but then she realizes that his tears stem from a worse pain than before, because now he knows that Thor had truly loved him, just as he knows that after everything he has done to hurt the Thunderer – and once Thor knows the truth about his lineage – Thor will only be able to hate him…. it is inevitable.

In any other situation, and concerning anyone but Thor, Aella would have agreed, but Thor has never been one who could be compared with anyone else, and she suspects that even after everything, he would still love Loki as he had before.

She never gets the chance to tell Loki this, though, because the next blast that rings out, shaking the Bifrost chamber is accompanied by a suppressed groan and a crackling blast of energy, and though she cannot find the energy to turn and see Thor, she can see him only too well though Loki's eyes.

He looks uncharacteristically exhausted and battered, and the unhealthy pallor of his skin coupled with the sickly sheen of sweat covering it and the trickles of blood running from his nose and mouth tell her only too clearly that whatever he is fighting against as he breaks though the ice is hurting him, severely.

The regret and horror filling Loki as he looks on – emotions that are now only too clear to Aella - confirm her worst fears…. that Loki had placed an enchantment upon his makeshift weapon to ensure it could not be stopped or destroyed…. and each contact that Thor makes with the mechanism – even through Mjolnir – is killing him.

Desperate she tries to scramble to her feet, but only manages to struggle to her knees when Loki stops her with a surprisingly gentle hand on her arm as he stands and starts to turn towards where his adoptive brother is struggling.

His contact with her lasts only a second – but with his quick mind he has already decided on his course of action and knows what it will cost him…. and though she knows what he is about to do, she is powerless to do anything but watch as Loki moves to Thor's side and pushes him away, trying to hide the regret burning within him under a veneer of sarcasm as he snaps:

"Oh, move you big oaf, this is my spell, and only I can safely break it."

Unperturbed by the sarcasm, and unawares of Loki's plan, Thor smiles wearily at Loki, placing a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder as he replies softly:

"Thank you, brother."

Loki brushes his hand off as he turns to face the mechanism and steps close to it, replying flatly: "Later" – but Aella knows too well that later will never come. She sees it in the emerald eyes that had glanced ever so briefly to meet the electric blue of his adoptive sibling for one last time. In that instant, Loki's gaze held within it the resignation of a man who had finally nothing left to loose… and yet is making one last stand for the sake of what was.

Weakened though he is, Thor struggles to Aella's side, pulling her into his arms as he thanks her for whatever she did to bring his brother back to him…. whatever she did to save him…. and she can only weep, wishing that it was true.

...

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	18. Chapter 18

A/N:

1) Apparently my muse is feeling reallllly flighty lately ... My deepest apologies for the long wait!

2)Sincere thanks for reviews, well wishes, and encouragement goes to: Dr. Lust, AdaYuki, and Avrice the Demigod. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

3) As I usually forget to mention, I own nothing.

...

...

Leaning against the battered Thunderer, Aella fights the exhaustion and pain pulling her down, desperate to find some way to save the life of a broken immortal who does not want to be saved, and though she knows Loki would have not wanted her to tell Thor the truth about his lineage – at least not while he was living to witness the fallout, she knows it is the last chance, for both of them in more ways than one, so opening the connection between her mind and the Thunderer's, she lets herself fall in to the familiar soothing warmth as ironically she brings the mental equivalent of a hurricane into his reality, thinking: "_When Loki said he is not your brother…. he meant it, he was adopted._"

The wave of hurt and disbelief that fills her mind in response to her claim is expected, as is his protest: "_There must be some mistake_"…. but it is nothing compared to the raw pain, and fear that rips through him as she shares with him what she had seen in Loki's mind…. and the words of the Allfather which are irrefutable proof of what Thor is trying so hard not to believe.

Beneath the all-encompassing shock, though, Aella can discern the thoughts tangled with his emotions, and she breaths a sigh of relief knowing – just as she had hoped - that the pain wringing the Thunderer's heart is not for himself but for Loki, while the one thing he fears is not Loki's nature, but rather loosing him, for now that Loki knows they are born enemies, can he ever believe that he loves him all the same?

She believes she has her answer, but asks mentally nonetheless, hoping that the plan forming in her mind can save Loki but needing to know that in trying to keep him alive she is not condemning him to an immortal's lifetime of loneliness and pain:

"_Now that you know the truth…. can you love him as you loved him before?"_

Thor's gaze shifts up and fixes upon Loki – whose contact with the ever-receding ice and the casket within it has turned his flesh blue and his eyes red - the undeniable proof of his Jotun heritage…. and yet for all that Thor had learned all his life to see every Jotun as the enemy, it is love and admiration that fills his heart as he looks at his little brother, commanding such powerful forces with his touch and will alone….. and though Aella knows the answer, she cannot help but smile when she hears Thor's thoughts:

"_In truth, there has been a mistake: Loki __**is**__ my little brother, in every way that counts…. Whoever he is, whatever he does, he always will be, and I shall always love him as such._"

Drawing strength from the hope his emotions give her, Aella struggles to her feet, favoring an ankle which is likely broken, saying to Thor over their mental connection: _"Good, then he needs to know he has something to live for before it's too late"_

Concern wars with confusion in the Thunderer's mind as he realizes what Aella is not saying, and asks - desperate to believe that it is the truth: _"He said his magic couldn't hurt him."_

She releases the mental equivalent of a sigh, replying quietly: _"It isn't going to – the energy buildup in the Bifrost mechanism will create an explosion when he removes the casket, which will kill anyone close enough."_

Desperate not to loose his brother, Thor pulls away from her, throwing himself towards Loki, only to be hurled back by an invisible barrier, and as the Thunderer gets to his feet again, it is with a sickening sense of dread that Aella realizes that Loki had created some kind of shield around himself and the mechanism to contain the energy blast within it and keep away anyone who would try to save him, sealing his own fate.

Though she cannot touch Thor, she does not need her abilities to understand the unbearable grief tearing him apart as he watches powerless to breach the barrier and save his brother, openly weeping as he says in a tone ragged with desperation:

"Don't do this, Loki…. Please don't do this."

Despite the fact Loki had expected Thor to hate him, Aella knows that he can sense the sincerity in the Thunderer's desperate plea, because he looks up from the casket to meet the gaze of his adoptive sibling, and there is so much desperate hope and vulnerability in his red eyes that even in this form he seems fragile.

Loki says nothing to the plea he has heard, but the regret and finally hopelessness burning in his eyes is answer enough, for all that he wants to be loved, needs to be loved….. he cannot find the hope required to take this one last chance.

Desperation gives Aella one last burst of strength as she probes at the invisible barrier, and realizing that she can breach it, but not for long as her telekinetic ability is weak compared to that which supports is, she mentally communicates what has to be her most insane plan yet to Thor who as she has asked grips her left wrist tightly in his left hand while he holds Mjolnir ready in his right…. and Aella counts down the seconds as the ice recedes into the casket.

Just as the last of it vanishes, she lunges forward, cleaving the barrier as if with a knife as she entangles her right arm with Loki's and holds to him as tightly as she can while pivoting to kick the casket from the mechanism which is now buzzing and crackling ominously with pent-up energy.

It is Thor then who pivots, pulling both her and Loki away as he steps toward the devastating explosion and drives it back with the lightning he summons, countering energy with energy, and though part of her fears that even that will not be enough to deflect the fatal explosion….. Thor seems to know otherwise because he throws Mjolnir, carrying with it all the force of the storm, and the energy bounces away from them, disintegrating most of the chamber.

She knows that the reflected shockwave will hit them though, it's bouncing from too many sources for any cover to afford them safety…. and all she has is a second to brace herself before it hits, tossing the three of them like feathers into the starry void.

As planned, Thor catches them, gripping a sharp edge of the destroyed chamber while he holds up the living chain that dangles from his left hand and awaits the moment when Mjolnir will return to him as it always does, but as he breaks their fall, Aella finds her grip on Loki slipping, and fights desperately once more against exhaustion as she is forced to telekinetically hold Loki with all that is left of her failing strength.

Despite her own pessimistic assessment, it is enough, even if barely so, to slow Loki's fall enough that her final desperate grip on his wrist remains unbroken. Now she struggles to remain conscious as compounded injuries and the overuse of her abilities take their toll on her, but it seems she need not worry about unconsciousness because suddenly her entire left arm feels as if it is on fire….. and it hurts too much for her to be anything but entirely awake.

Aella only understands what is happening to her when she feels Loki thrashing against her hold on him, each movement exacerbating the pain in her arm which feels like something between a raging fire and her flesh being shredded, and though she knows Loki is the one who is doing this to her, she does not resent him for it, not really …. because she knows that he is only causing her this pain to force her to let him fall into the abyss of space….. because he does not want to live when he believes he has nothing left to live for….

She tries to focus enough to become a bridge for Thor's emotions, so that Loki can know that he is indeed not alone and unloved, but the pain is too much for that, and it gets worse when Loki's desperation makes the previously imaginary damage become real, and bleeding cuts and burns lace her arm.

Unwilling to let go, and secretly terrified of having to endure any more though she does not care to admit that part, she finally grinds out flatly:

"I know what you're trying to do Loki, but the only way I'm letting go of you is if you cut off my arm…. Of course if you do that, I'll probably bleed out before anyone can help me, but whatever….. it's your call."

The look of utter shock that Loki gives her is actually well worth the pain, even though Aella finds herself relieved when he does not attack her again, instead hanging listlessly at the end of their chain.

It is not over though. Disaster is not averted until Mjolnir returns to Thor's hand so he can fly them to safety, and though she knows that even with all the injury he has sustained he will not loose his grip, she fears that she will – after all she is only human, and as the compounded injuries of the day continue to take their toll she knows that with the passing of each second, her hold on the person below her weakens…. and it is all she can do to fight it, devoting every last measure of her dwindling energy to holding fast, and focusing on each measured breath she takes to keep her worries at bay.

Just when she thinks she can hold no longer, the air is split by the familiar humming of Mjolnir as it hurtles by, returning to the Thunderer's hand even as he fearlessly releases his grip on the edge and takes hold of Mjolnir, carefully lifting them all to safety in what remnants of the Bifrost chamber are still structurally intact.

Paradoxically, perhaps, it is Loki she worries for, most of all –not physically but emotionally. True, like herself and Thor, he had been injured by the blast, but those wounds are nothing compared to the regret and loneliness ripping him apart inside which had caused him only moments earlier to seek his own end, and now buries the so-vulnerable immortal in silent suffering, and tired though she is, Aella cannot bear to miss this opportunity which is perhaps in some ways the culmination of a lifetime of struggle that has been in the end well worth it, especially when part of her realizes that there is a small but nonzero chance that once she gives in to exhaustion she may never awaken again, so reaching out to both brothers though the physical connection that has remained unbroken when they had all collapsed to the floor, she creates a bridge to share their thoughts and feelings, and holds it open even when it feel like it is ripping her apart.

The love they feel for each other is perhaps the only thing they share in common. In almost every other way, they are polar opposites: Where Thor is open and honest with his raw feelings, Loki is guarded, inscrutable even. Where Thor is more passive, willing to know and feel only what his brother wishes to when he wishes him to, Loki forcibly extracts the answers to his questions, unwilling to let any go unanswered – and it is this which is painful in an odd sort of mental way, not because Loki is trying to harm her, but simply because she finds that her mortal mind cannot keep up with his ceaseless penetrating queries….. but this too is worth it.

Aella smiles finally when the chaos clears and the mental questions grind to a halt, and all that is left is the love between siblings that are finally closer than ever before, the happiness that they are together now that the catastrophe has passed – and though Loki's reserve finally breaks as he lets his older brother cradle him close with all the tenderness in the universe as he weeps for all the pain and misunderstanding and regrets, she also knows that among those tears are also tears of joy, and finally….. finally he can heal.

Satisfied at last, she gives in to the welcome unconsciousness reaching for her. It might be a mistake to sleep now, given normal human physiology but why should she be concerned when fortunately nothing about her physiology has been working normally ever since Mjolnir had '_given her a gift'_…. and besides she doubts that in the future, Loki will be particularly fond of the idea of anyone but Thor seeing him so vulnerable, so this once the timing of her lapse into unconsciousness is perfect.

...

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	19. Chapter 19

A/N:

1)Sincere thanks for reviews and all the encouragement goes to: AdaYuki, Avrice the Demigod, mermaidstear, DamonLover96, Verena, and EvilPurpleCookiePenkeyMonguin. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

2) I truly apologize for the long wait! The past weeks have been a mixture of extended family craziness, hyper-kids (not mine, luckily) craziness, Avengers craziness - which has spawned another two ficlets "Bittersweet Lies" and "Reflections Across Enemy Lines" the later of which I honestly have no clue where it's going, etc.

3) I made the mistake of showing my collected writings to my family... and erm, well, lets just synposize by saying that my muse (and my ego) was thoroughly trampled underfoot... though its possible that a major problem was the fandom not my writing itself... I think... I hope. Either way...Youch!

Anyway, thanks a milion for all your support, dear readers... you certainly have a way of brightening crappy days and without you all this would not be possible.

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"_Pressure trauma, concussion…. probability of waking up again… not likely… oh well."_

Those had been the last thoughts supplied by the ever-logical side of her mind as she had let herself drift off, and though she had also known that ever since she received what Thor had described as a gift from Mjolnir, the usual physiological considerations did not seem to apply, she knew she was far from invulnerable…. she knew how close to the edge she had toed it this time, and finds herself more than a little surprised to be waking up at all.

She stretches slightly, flexing her outer extremities as part of a routine checkup to ensure nothing vital was damaged beyond repair or missing, and finds herself pleasantly surprised at the overall lack of pain in her body.

Finally, Aella opens her eyes in response to the gentle touch that she feels brushing her hair back…. and meets electric blue, seeing clearly in them the relief that mingles with a deep-seated concern for her.

Thor looks tired still, even if infinitely more alive than the last time she had seen him, and this time an equally tired Loki is standing quietly by his side, clearly there both for his brother and her.

The silence is tense, so Aella does what she does best in this kind of situation. She breaks it, albeit awkwardly:

"Well, you two look better."

Loki seems more amused –and simultaneously uncomfortable – than Thor who smiles slightly, asking gently:

"As do you. Are you well?"

She takes a moment to consider the fact honestly, deciding to sit up as a test of how 'well' she is … and fails miserably.

Nothing hurts much, anymore, though she can still see angry red marks that have replaced open tears and burns, and which still hurt if touched. The major problem is that she feels tired enough where sleeping for a year sounds like an excellent plan.

Still, considering the fact that she should have been dead or at least in a full-body cast by now, tired is a good place to be, and leaning freely on the Thunderer's strength as he helps her sit up, she finally replies, chuckling slightly at the enormous yawn that manifests itself without her approval:

"Fine…. great actually."

She looks up slightly to meet the green gaze that is focused on her, and notices the quiet storm brewing within, for while Loki is far more at peace now than he had been when they had first met, he is far from healed inside.

Unfortunately, Loki - especially a silent Loki - is as inscrutable as ever, and it is only when she notices his gaze shift to the angry red marks lacing her left arm that she realizes what is eating at him…. or more accurately what is eating at him most in the moment…. and as he turns to leave, she reaches out, grateful that her orientation is better than she'd guessed, catching his hand.

Feeling the emotions wash over her, along with a half-hearted push as Loki reminds her not to read his mind, Aella knows that she was right, that Loki is hurting inside, both for what he had done to her while they had been hanging from the Bifrost, and more deeply for what he had done to Thor.

"_Loki. You know that Thor forgives you and loves you all the same."_

That thought stops Loki in his tracks, and he turns, pulling away from her grasp before she can say any more – or perhaps it's before she can hear any more of his thoughts.

In any case she does not need further contact to recognize the less-hidden regret in his gaze, knowing that though Loki knows that Thor forgives him, he is a long way from being able to forgive himself, even if the Thunderer's affections are a good start.

As much as some part of her – the part that has held some truly impressive grudges over the years – still will not forgive Loki, still cannot forget the sight of Thor laying broken and dead on the dusty ground….. not yet anyway, it is not a lie when she tells him, having noticed his gaze shift to her left arm before meeting hers, this time challengingly:

"…. And I don't blame you for this… so don't beat yourself up about it."

The momentary flash of shock in emerald orbs, however quickly it vanishes, is priceless….. even as it sends a pang of pain lacing though her heart, because while Loki can fathom Thor's forgiveness – even if he still cannot truly accept it – it is only because in all their years together, Thor has forgiven him many times before – even in the face of Loki calling him a fool for it at times …. and Aella finds herself wondering if anyone else had ever forgiven Loki for anything.

The younger prince steps back to her side, running a finger down the rapidly fading pattern of red marks on her forearm, while what feels like tiny tendrils of fire flare across the marks, radiating out from the tip of his finger… It is not an attack though, or even a real effort to hurt her, though…. Just a reminder, as if she needed any, coupled with words that belie the calm intonation of their delivery:

"I hurt you – why would you not blame me?"

It is almost laughable, really, this concern over superficial injuries when he'd been trying to get dropped into the waiting abyss, especially as even then she had not truly resented him for it, and Aella cannot help the small smirk that has found its way onto her features as she replies:

"Really, Loki, you really have to ask? You were trying to get yourself killed. I'd say in the face of that a few scrapes on my part are pretty insignificant."

She can see that Loki is more affected by her words than he cares to be. It shows in the speed with which he turns and leaves the room, not looking back once.

Thor breaks the silence, speaking softly:

"My brother…. is hurting, as he has been for a long time now."

Aella nods, not bothering with a reply which suddenly she feels too tired for, especially since Thor is right. Problems as serious as Loki's don't simply arise overnight….. though ironically she supposes that said problems did go from troublesome to catastrophically destructive over the course of a fateful few moments in the weapons vault, and to further complicate things, the issues that are eating at Loki now – now that it's more regret than resentment – are an entirely different breed of problem.

The Thunderer continues, his voice distant and burdened:

"How could I have failed to see that?"

Still leaning into Thor's warmth, she can hear the unspoken melancholy _"How could I have failed him?"_, and sighs, knowing that it is just like Thor to blame himself for everything that had gone wrong, while forgiving his wayward sibling entirely.

Even though she knows it will be a small solace at best, Aella replies, equally softly:

"It's not your fault, Thor. Loki's almost impossible to read."

Thor's reply is a sigh, followed with:

"But you understood."

Aella shrugs, and replies wearily, though this time it's more emotional than physical:

"Barely, Thor…. I barely could glimpse that there was pain beneath his wrath, and even then I didn't understand it till I could touch him… despite the fact that I can read practically anyone else at a glance after being an empath for all these years."

It's not enough for the Thunderer whose reply is even more tired that her own had been:

"Loki is my brother….. my little brother…."

This time her reply is patient, truthful, and Aella hopes, comforting:

"Which is exactly what makes it harder…. For all of us, it's usually the toughest to understand those closest to us, because we think we know them so well, that we usually can't see beyond our image of them."

She hears Thor mentally chiding himself, calling himself a fool, and before he can voice the thought, she interrupts dryly – knowing that a fool is the last thing Thor ever could be:

"Before you call yourself a fool, know this, Thor: Loki misunderstood your feelings far more than you ever did his."

The Thunderer does not argue with her this time, and Aella is relieved to find that in his emotions, the hope for a mended relationship with his sibling overpowers his regrets over past misunderstandings, even as he considers her words and then says gently:

"Thank you… for all the kindness you have shown me, for standing by my side in battle…. and most of all for bringing my brother back to me."

It is Aella's turn to smile, an expression that mirrors his own sincerity and is far removes from her usual bitter or cynical expressions, as she replies, resting a hand gently over his heart:

"That was all you, Thor…. all who you are inside. It was that which drew me to you first…. just as it is that which brought your brother back from the brink of bitter madness. All I did was help him see you as you truly are."

Maybe she should be embarrassed when her words are followed by an even more lengthy yawn, but it's practically impossible to feel anything but safe and loved when Thor smiles at her – with an open honest smile which is warm like the sun and sincere in a way that only he can be – pressing a kiss to her forehead, as he whispers:

"Rest, Aella…. we can speak more another day."

She easily relaxes into sleep, finally and for the first time in years feeling at home … even as the small logical part of her reminds herself that this can never be home for her, that sooner or later she will inevitably have to let go – because she is human after all, human in a world of gods.

Trouble is, she does not know how to let go…. or if she can anymore, and worse, perhaps….. she does not think that Thor can either.

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	20. Chapter 20

A/N:

1) Sincere thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: AdaYuki, mermaidstear, Avrice the Demigod, and M. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

2) sorry for the long wait... near 7 months, that's shameful.

3) In case I'm not back to update for a couple weeks (which I probably won't be), Happy Holidays to all!

4) I hope I got Odin's voice down right, can't say I'm sure.

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The next time Aella is awakened, it is by two women she has never met before, who have between them a dress just long enough to make the idea of wearing it a dubious one indeed, but at least it is red – Thor's color as she has come to think of it – and she doesn't make too much fuss, externally or internally, as they help her into it, explaining that the Allfather has requested her presence in the great hall.

At this latest bit of information, she starts to panic, internally, until Thor and Loki arrive, clearly deep in conversation until Thor beams at her, and finished with her overly helpful attendants, she falls into step with them down one of the – admittedly impressive – corridors.

The meeting that Thor's father – and Loki's too, theoretically, though she can tell from the younger prince's well hidden agitation that he doesn't see their king quite that way – has called is in direct correlation with the damage done by the trio to the Bifrost, and though she feels at some level uneasy with the fact that they are placing the blame for the entire incident on an attempt by Jotuns to steal the casket, she also knows that it is the least bad option, because Thor will not let the truth of Loki's actions come to light, will not let his little brother be harmed, even after all this….. and he reassures her that an attack on a realm already devastated – crippled in fact - by the power of the Bifrost would not be an action condoned by the Allfather, so this lie at least will not start a war.

If she's to be honest with herself, and even without Thor's insistence, she would still have gone with the lie, because for all that at some level she can't forgive Loki for _killing_ Thor, she knows that the younger prince was hurting too, driven to the edge of madness and desperation by his perceived loneliness…. knows that the greatest punishment for him will be the guilt that will haunt him for those actions now that he understands, and that anything more would be cruel and destructive for both of them…. and it's not as if morality has ever been anything more than an extremely flexible concept for her anyway.

So instead of arguing, Aella adds her own suggestions to their alibi – suggests that only she would have been foolish enough to throw the casket into the Bifrost mechanism in a misguided effort to destroy it rather than having it fall into the wrong hands, inadvertently freezing the portal open – literally – as only she wouldn't have realized the consequences, and though Thor isn't happy, even he is forced to realize what Loki had realized from the start: that only this explanation had a chance of making their lie believable.

That meeting goes smoothly, even if the presence of Thor's parents is incredibly intimidating even if she thought she was immune to the sentiment…. it's natural enough, being after all the only mortal in the room…. _on this planet in fact_…. and though she's an excellent liar – had to become one to survive – there is something about the king's one-eyed stare that unnerves her because it seems all-knowing, and she's almost certain that he sees though the deception.

Despite that, the Allfather never calls her on her lies, never challenges them – strange considering that she cannot help but see him as a king first and a father second – and for that reason, she considers the meeting a success.

It is only after the handful of Aesir that Aella imagines make up some sort of council leave, only after the Allfather himself rises from his throne and approaches them…. only after the expression with which he regards her becomes strangely weary rather than calculating that everything goes to hell – metaphorically that is, if Aella remembers her Norse mythology right, Hel is a place which isn't exactly saying that hell is a place, but it would probably be vastly incorrect to say that they are there just in case – because the next words from the immortal's lips are ones of praise…. but they have the finality of a gravestone, and she just knows there is a _but_ coming:

"Aella, daughter of Midgard, despite the damage your choices have helped cause Jotunheim and the Bifrost, you have helped to prevent a war. Your bravery has helped to protect the nine realms …. and my sons…. For this, I owe you a debt of gratitude…"

Aella swallows hard, not liking especially where this is going, more so now that she can feel the tension boiling off Thor, but it will do no good to jump the gun here, so she stays quiet, kneeling by the brothers' side, while amusing herself internally that it had never been about bravery…. just that she hadn't been willing to loose Thor…. and then what she expected all along comes:

"…so I will grant you any one wish you may have, within my power …. apart from one, I will not allow you and my son to be wed."

It is Thor, of course that he is referring to, and Aella had expected this conclusion all along at some level, despite not having realized that Thor had been further along imagining a future together that she was….. of course in his world that meant marriage…. but it doesn't make the decree sting any less for either her or Thor who stands and cries out in protest, equally angry and indignant: "Father!", only to be stopped, momentarily at least by Loki's hand on his arm, and then subsequently by her own question, harsh and demanding, even as she stands also and incongruously, lays a comforting hand on Thor's wrist:

"Why?"

It's entirely the wrong tone of voice to be using….. entirely inappropriate for any royal court, let alone one whose king presides over worlds and is practically a god, but ironically, said god isn't perturbed by her anger in the slightest, and simply answers as he walks away from them:

"You are mortal."

Simple as that …. she isn't good enough…. or at least that's what the anger and hurt that rage within her momentarily say, until she hears Thor's thoughts, knows he's about to challenge his father's decree on this point, and if the price is his exile again, so be it…. and her insulted anger quickly fades away – because she doesn't want to be the thing that rips this family apart again, not when she's helped them finally come together somewhat.

As soon as the anger and hurt recedes, the more logical, less selfish part of her mind realizes that the Allfather is right in his choice, as much as it hurts – precisely what makes him a good ruler, she supposes – because however much she'd have liked to pretend that she and the Thunderer could have a happily ever after, they wouldn't….. because she's mortal – because sooner or later, she'd die, and even assuming the human maximum lifespan, what was less than a hundred years together? not nearly long enough to make up for the grief…. not short enough for her loss to be anything short of devastating for the immortal she had ultimately fallen for.

At least, when she finds her voice, weary and resigned, she's not lying:

"No, Thor…. he's right, this'd never work…. because I'm human, because I'll age – I'll die - and you'll have to watch…. because I won't let you give up your immortality for me….. and even if we forgot about how this will inevitably end, even if we raised a family…. if we had children, they'll never belong…. not here where they'll be weaker, not on Earth where they will be stronger…"

Her eyes flicker to Loki, because he's been on one end of the spectrum, just as she's been on the other, because they both know the pain of not belonging, they've lived it, and it isn't a burden she'd ever wish on another, much less her own child.

Then she finishes, voice cracking, unsure whether she's talking to Thor or herself at this point:

"And even if you're willing…. I can't be."

She can't destroy him – not like this – but it's impossible to look at Thor, whose entirely open expression does nothing to mask the fact that she may well have ripped his heart out with words alone….. and even knowing that again this is the least harmful of all the choices left to her does nothing to reassure her, so she looks to the most unlikely person of all present for support, calling out what is clearly meant to be a question for the Allfather:

"That's the breakdown, isn't it?"

When Odin does turn to face her, he seems tired again, but there is ironically something a little more like a flicker of respect in his all-encompassing stare, and he replies, quieter than before….. softer:

"Yes, that is why I cannot allow you and Thor to wed… not as long as you are mortal."

Funny perhaps, how sometimes one little dropped hint can change a person's entire perspective, though the irony of the fact pales in comparison to the fact that she imagines that wasn't a slip of the tongue, and she'd never imagine that the biological father of the most open and honest person she'd ever known would be resorting to subtle hints, and perhaps subtler tests – really, if she didn't know better she might wonder if Thor was the adopted son.

In any case what matters, functionally, is that the unwanted resignation she had been feeling earlier is gone, quashed by hope stemming from that unexpected conditional, and she asks, more demanding than before, except that this is mixed with hope, rather than anger:

"Wait, you said _'as long as'_… that implies there's another …."

This time it is Thor who cuts her off, with a desperate, sharp insistent "No!" that matches perfectly the fierce protectiveness burning within him and all but effacing his grief, and tells her more clearly than Loki's subtle glance of warning, that she's treading dangerous – deadly even - ground here….. but danger has followed her always, and to be truthful, despite her previous speech of surrender, she doesn't know how to go on without Thor, so instead she presses on, gently, ignoring the thought she picks up from the Thunderer's grief-stricken mind, because he'd rather let her go than let it end like _this_:

"…. way… what are you implying?"

It's Loki who chimes in at that point, tone smooth as always, even in his clear warning to her:

"Nothing that will be of benefit for you to know."

She doesn't give in – not this time – insisting firmly that she does want to know, despite the fact that this is probably her worst idea ever, and this time, Odin does speak, sounding more hesitant than anything:

"There is a way… for a mortal to become one of us, if they pass a test…. if they survive it."

At that point, Loki chimes in – although she could have guessed this from his earlier warning:

"No-one ever has."

Putting on a mask of false confidence, Aella replies, just as smoothly, hoping maybe that if she ignores the certain feeling of doom surrounding her studiously enough, it'll melt away:

"And how many have tried?"

The magnitude of the answer isn't unexpected…. two… and despite her false confidence in forcing a grim smile and asserting that it isn't a large enough statistic to be worth much, the strongest part of her knows that it will be no different in her case…. why should it be, really?... and yet that doesn't stop her from wanting to try.

Thor isn't a mind-reader, but he knows her well enough – realizes perhaps that she's about to accept this challenge – from her expression alone, because he stops her from speaking with a gentle but firm grasp on both her upper arms, saying softly enough for only her to hear:

"Don't do this… I won't have you die because of me."

This time, Aella's sad smile is genuine – because it's just like Thor to feel responsible for everyone around him, even when that responsibility truly isn't his to bear…. and because this probably will end…. badly – but she cannot let this go…. will not give up this time, not without a fight, and she finally answers softly:

"Whatever happens…. will never be because of you, Thor. I want to do this…. I've run my whole life, and I don't want to run anymore…. I refuse to run anymore…. not when I've come this far."

Finally Thor sighs, nods barely perceptibly, as she knew he would…. because for all that he wants to see her safe, he does understand her decision, he'd do the same in her position ….. and though she imagines that perhaps – just perhaps – from the moment the Allfather had made his subtle offer, he knew what she would choose, she supposes that some formality in this weighty – probably deadly – choice is in order:

"I accept."

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	21. Chapter 21

A/N:

1) Sincere thanks for reviews and/or encouragement goes to: AdaYuki, tamatoe, and Cassandra-Jayne. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

2) I'm very sorry for the long wait. College, family issues and an AWOL muse have been taking their toll.

3) To the person who flagged Aella as a 'Mary Sue', sorry but I'd beg to differ, see, her fate isn't decided yet, she is not a master of everything, and she is not Ms. Perfect. In fact she is about to soon get a very close and personal look at her follies and flaws (which was the plan all along btw).

Yes, Thor falls for her, but he's a loving person, and as for her abilities, remember, this is placed in the MARVEL universe, where people with powers and a large impact on the world are practically ubiquitous.

In any case, some food for thought (from my English professor who spent two lectures on both the overuse of Mary Sues and the overuse of the** label**)

a) if you think a female OC is a Sue, first stop and ask yourself if she'd be as impossible to swallow were she male. If yes, one's got to do some long and hard thinking about gender equality. If not, good for you.

b) Overuse of the Sue label has led to many published proffesional authors being AFRAID to create female characters who are anything other than barbies, sissies, or some kind of villain, because too often strong (albeit mostly realistic) females are labeled as Sues, and that is seen as career suicide.

Yes, Sues absolutely happen. No, I'm not going to call every interesting female who manages to make a difference, a Sue. Cheers.

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The Allfather tells her that she will be fighting the "Unknown" and then the meeting is over, before she has a chance to clarify exactly what that is – though she doubts that she'd be given an answer in any case.

It shouldn't matter, because one way or another she will find out at sundown, but Loki still goes off to the library to find some answers of his own, and Thor…. grieving yet still trying to be supportive…. offers to help her prepare, just as some of his friends make the same offer – their way of supporting him, Aella imagines.

In the end, she accepts help from Sif, because they are both women, and that may change the dynamics a little, or so she says.

In truth, the reason for her refusal is that Thor's too close…. and if this all goes to hell, Aella doesn't want him to spend an eternity blaming himself for not being able to teach her enough.

The Aesir woman teaches her well, everything from the advantages and disadvantages of various kinds of armor and weapons to individual thrusts and parries. Still, after they spar for a couple of hours, they have to stop, because otherwise Aella will be too exhausted to meet the challenge she has accepted, and in all – despite how much she has learned – the net experience has been humbling in the extreme, because even with what is apparently an added level of strength and healing ability to go with a near impenetrable force-field that seems to protect her chest…. Sif can still floor her in under a minute – and she's not even trying hard.

They go back to discussing armor again, and despite the fact that Aella probably needs the heaviest armor she can get, ultimately she decides on a light scale plating covering just her torso and thighs above a red tunic, because she has always relied on speed and agility to keep herself safe, and slowing herself down with too much weight sounds like inviting disaster.

For weapons, she chooses a pair of short daggers and a simple staff, because there are no pistols here and this is the closest she can get to something she is familiar with using.

"Bladed ends will make it harder for that to be taken from you."

It's nerves that make Aella jump at the sudden sound of Loki's voice, but she silently concedes that he has a point and exchanges the staff for one with a cutting edge at each end, even while she asks what he found.

There is no need to ask where Thor is, because the raging thunderstorm enveloping the hills is answer enough, and not for the first time, Aella wonders if she has made a terrible – selfish – mistake.

"Having second thoughts?"

There is nothing condescending in that silky tone, this once, and though Aella wants to ask Loki if he's able to read her thoughts, because that is what it sounds like, she gives instead a short cynical chuckle, admitting:

"I'm probably going to die, Loki… and truth is, I'm scared."

This time, the Trickster seems amused, but only marginally so:

"You really didn't mean all that about not wanting to run any more?"

Aella sighs, deciding that this was easier when she and Loki were fighting, because except within the personal blind spot of his own emotions and fears, Loki is very perceptive, then finally answers, hesitantly:

"Good catch…. yes and no…. I'm tired of what I've made of my life, and I don't want to go back to it…. and if there's a chance, any chance that I can win this, it's worth it….. if not, it's a fight worth fighting…."

This time, Loki doesn't reply –probably because he doesn't agree with her assessment – and yet despite that, his presence is vaguely comforting.

Thunder peals deafeningly in the distance, and Aella speaks up again, softly:

"You ever heard of last requests…. it's a human, uh, Midgardian custom… sort of."

Loki's reply is noncommittal – amused again at what may be narrow-mindedness on her part:

"Not only…"

It doesn't matter. In fact the universality of this custom probably is a good thing, and she presses on:

"Promise me something, then…. if I die."

Loki smiles, wide and shark-like, despite the tears she can see glistening in his eyes, and asks sharply:

"You sure I'm the right person to be addressing? Thor is the better to trust, and you know he'd do as you ask."

Maybe in time he will learn to be trusted again…. in time which she doesn't have, so instead of arguing, she continues, voice firm but gentle:

"I trust you with this, Loki…. I trust you to look after him, to be there for him."

This time, the Trickster's voice is bitter – guilty even- as he bites out:

"Because I have done that so well, before."

And Aella has to hide a wince as she remembers, as the grief of loosing Thor washes over her, before she pushes it away, not wanting to fan the flames, and says quietly:

"Yeah, well, I do know that you love him, Loki…. despite what you did…. so just, try to make him smile again, and I know it might be tempting, but don't try to stir up tensions in the family, however much it might be fun, 'kay….. because in the end that'll just hurt Thor more…. even it your intentions are just to piss off Odin."

At least none of this has been a lie, and yet her attempts to placate Loki seem to be in vain, because he bristles at the mention of the king's name and replies vehemently:

"He isn't right about everything."

He's expecting anger on her part, she supposes, indignation that the Allfather has given her this ultimatum…. but this time she's going to disappoint, because she isn't angry, and instead replies levelly:

"No… but he also isn't wrong…. I guess when you've lived on an imperfect world as long as I have, you realize that sometimes… there is no right way to do something….. just a minimally wrong way, and that's what you try and shoot for when you are in charge, if you're one of the good guys… you know…. I actually think the position must suck."

For a while she wonders if she said the wrong thing because Loki seems to be buried in impregnable silence, but at last he laughs - a real laugh however short-lived – and says:

"I hope you survive this, Aella, I would enjoy having you as a sister."

And despite the certainty of her impending doom, she cannot help but smile back, stating that she'd like that too, because despite how much she had hated Loki for what he did…. and despite the fact that she can't forget… they have something in common…. they are both damaged, possibly beyond repair, inside – and she'd like to think that she understand him.

Then reality makes itself forcefully known again, with another thunderclap, and Aella asks, dryly:

"So, any idea exactly what this unknown 'unknown' is?"

Loki sighs, this time in annoyance, and huffs:

"No, it is an opponent, an enemy, sometimes more than one…. and there seems to be no real pattern to the forms they take…. as if they're designed for the individual."

The simplicity of it is baffling now that Loki has spoken, and thinking aloud, Aella replies sarcastically:

"Oh, that's right… humans, we fear the unknown. I'd wager that the 'Unknown" is all my fears come to life…. in which case, well, shit, this is going to be a very long night."

It probably says something about her luck that Thor arrives at that very moment, finished with his latest storm, and adds his own input to the conversation:

"You fear nothing and no-one."

She wishes it was true – it would be true if she was Thor, she thinks – but the reality is that she's got more skeletons in her closet than hangers, and she replies bitterly:

"Nah, not true, I just hide my fears well, which means someone should sue for privacy violations."

Only Loki gets the joke, but it doesn't matter because with two hours left before Sif will return for a final warm-up exercise, it is only fitting that Aella and Thor take this time together, and Loki steps out of the arena, leaving the would-be couple alone.

It's ironic in the extreme that for all of their talking and bonding under the most majestic sunset she has ever seen, Aella can't bring herself to say the things that really matter … and it takes Sif leveling her effortlessly again while Thor has gone to make some final preparations - because apparently she's going to have her ass handed to her in the royal hall – to give her the impetus to at least put her thoughts down on paper once Sif leaves again.

She doesn't register Loki's presence, reading over her shoulder, until he speaks, a note of pain trickling into his otherwise level tone:

"You want me to give this to him…"

"If I die, yes.", Aella interrupts, not letting him finish. It's easier if she says it.

When Loki speaks again, his voice is oddly hesitant:

"I can help you."

Caution laces her tone as she hands Loki the folded letter and asks:

"How so?"

And it is not unwarranted, because what Loki is suggesting – to the best of her understanding – is a temporary protective spell, which will allow her to draw form his strength for the time being, making her more than human…. something which sounds both dangerous and of course not allowed.

Her refusal is for neither reason, and when she sees the flicker of rejection in Loki's green eyes, she clarifies hastily, realizing what he must be thinking:

"It's not a moral objection to cheating, Loki…. it's only that if I survive this when I should have died, then it will catch up to me later. People will assume I'm stronger than I am, and when that does end in my death one way or the other…. the fallout will be worse."

She thinks that Loki might actually agree with her despite calling her a fool, because there is no real anger in his tone, and he finishes with the statement:

"If you reconsider while there is time, my offer still stands."

But there is no adequate response to that, and all Aella can say to his retreating back as she does a final check on her weapons and watches the sun being swallowed is a whispered:

"I won't… but thanks anyway."

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	22. Chapter 22

A/N:

1) Sincere thanks for reviews and/or encouragement goes to: tamatoe, Maia2, Alaee301, and 252020. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can (might take me a couple days though. Sorry).

Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.

2) I'm very sorry for the long wait. Work, family issues and an AWOL muse have been taking their toll. To make things even more complicated, a dear and physically somewhat disabled relative who loves gardening (on the big prickly tree scale instead of little flower beds) has enlisted my help, and I don't have the heart to turn them down.

3) So here finally is that long awaited chapter where I said Aella would be getting a long hard look at her human failings, etc. Hope it doesn't dissapoint.

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Aella is more than a little surprised when as the sun sinks below the horizon, she is led back to the great hall, followed by Thor and his brother in what has to be one of the odder scenes in this world's history – because it doesn't look like an arena of any sort – but her doubts quickly vanish when Odin who is there with his wife, flanked by the two ravens Aella has seen before and two enormous wolves which are news to her, stands, striking the ground with Gungnir, and suddenly a wall of what ripples like fire but has all the colors of the borealis seems to spring out of the ground, cordoning off the center of the hall into an enormous arena.

The only gap in the circle is right before her feet – obviously waiting for her to enter before it closes – and Aella takes a deep breath, preparing to step forward, as Thor's hand closes around her upper arm.

This time he doesn't protest her choice, but there is no mistaking the repressed pain in the electric blue of his eyes or the roughness of his voice as he all but whispers to her just one word which is equal parts a plea and a command:

"Survive."

She wants to tell him that she will, but there is no guaranteeing that, and the next thought that comes to her mind as she forces a smile for his sake is one of gratitude, gratitude for all that he has given her, for all he has let her be a part of and most of all for his loving her, but the way the words form sounds too much like a farewell in her own mind, and ultimately the only gesture she can reply with – perhaps the last as well – is an embrace.

When Thor releases her, reluctantly, but not without more belief in her than she possesses, Aella spares one last glance at Loki, a nod of ultimately her regard, before stepping into the circle, satisfied at least that she had seen in his expression a promise to stand by his brother if needed.

The barrier seals behind her, cool despite its appearance and hard as polished stone, impenetrable from within, and Aella would wager whatever she owns that any intervention from outside – Thor comes to mind – is impossible now, even if Odin's ravens pass through the barrier as if it isn't even there.

Deciding that these are not a threat – unless they do something disturbing such as sprouting enormous talons - Aella doesn't move, keeping the bladed staff horizontal as they circle her, finally coming to rest on her shoulders, and she really isn't surprised that they weigh more than any bird this size should, because this isn't Earth, and why would the Allfather's pets be in any way normal.

She doesn't expect the sudden near-crippling wave of thoughts – her own but at a speed she cannot process – that flood her mind as the birds turn, touching their beaks to her head, or the sudden horrifying sensation of being laid utterly bare before something beyond human or even Aesir (she recognizes their mental presence) which drives her to one knee.

It, oddly perhaps for how invasive it is, isn't painful, and for all that she can tell that her memories are no longer just hers, everything is moving too fast for even the unpleasant ones - of which there are many - to have an impact on her, and yet despite that, she cannot help but wish to escape this sort of inspection, because as a human who has hidden all her life, it's more than a little disquieting to have anyone or anything see laid bare every last facet of her soul and every hidden corner of her mind.

Despite that, she doesn't fight it, doesn't try to erect any mental blocks – not that she'd succeed anyway, she suspects – or swat the birds away – the thought had crossed her mind and was rewarded with a petulant squawk from one of them - and before long, the process is over, with the birds departing as swiftly as they had come.

Fortunately, however disoriented she had felt while they were peering into her mind, she is fine now, and idly twirling the weapon in her hands, getting a feel for its weight, she waits for this infamous test to begin.

She'd half expected to see Tom, though despite the fact that it's an irrational fear because he is dead – she'd killed the bastard personally and she isn't about to forget the fact any time soon - all her preparation for this moment does nothing to dampen the raw wave of icy fear rising in her mind as he gives her one of those sick grins, and for a moment she is drowning in memories.

Before she can pull herself out of it, he has already knocked the weapon from her hands, and landed several blows, cracking ribs even though the thin armor, but then the moment passes, and she starts to fight back – because she has already won this fight years ago, because she is stronger than she ever was then and no longer the fragile girl who had trusted him.

This time, she doesn't even need to use her mind to kill him.

He is the first, but not the last, since his cohorts in that accursed organization follow – not always singly – and for some the memories their reappearance brings is more painful than she cares to endure, but she doesn't let herself give in to the thoughts, because these – these are her fears. They only have as much power over her as she lets them have.

The fact that Mjolnir's gift still protects her against any penetrating injury in its proximity is still perhaps her greatest advantage.

Numbers, unfortunately, is their advantage over her, even if she is a better fighter than she ever was before, because she can still tire, but instead of giving in to that uncertainty, she forces a laugh instead because all their bodies conveniently disappear when she is through with them – they probably were only ever there in her mind, even if the physical damages they sometimes manage to cause seems real enough – and it certainly minimizes the clutter.

Events only become disturbing – only able once more to touch her at an emotional level which is decidedly not an advantage – when after the ghosts of her distant past are dealt with, another ghost, one of only days ago, returns to haunt her, and she cannot help the gut-wrenching pain that rips though her as she sees this thing killing Thor while she'd stood by unable to help.

Her weapons can do nothing to penetrate the Destroyer's shell, though she had seen Sif spear it cleanly enough, but then again, she isn't that strong, but she doesn't let that deter her, dropping any weapons she is carrying as she dodges its next blast, because this thing had killed someone she loved – and right in this moment, good old fashioned revenge sounds like an even better incentive than survival.

The Destroyer is actually a wreck in New Mexico, Thor had ensured it, but this thing looks enough like it to make the idea of ripping it to pieces incredibly gratifying, and finally tapping into her own abilities - her birthright - she focuses all her thoughts upon prying it apart at the seams, ignoring the searing wave of heat that emerges when it finally explodes, after stubbornly refusing to comply for what had seemed like an eternity.

Of course, this maneuver had been one of the first things she had tried on Earth, and it had been an abject failure, but this seems to be a test of will more than strength, she is stronger now than she was then, she chooses to believe in that strength, willing her fear to fall before it, and the result is incredibly gratifying.

It was also incredibly exhausting – she barely has enough energy left to stand now let alone fight – but she thinks this should be over – hopes it is over – since practically all her history has been covered.

Her head snaps up at the sound of her own voice:

"Hm, interesting."

Whirling to face this impossibility, Aella's eyes widen to their fullest and then some, because this enemy is very much her present self, down to the stance and mannerisms, and deciding that this time bearing can be damned, she grumbles, voice dripping with cynicism:

"That's not fair."

Looking in the Allfather's direction, since only he seems calm about this – Thor is extremely worried, Loki seems perplexed, and Frigga looks worried for her son's sake – Aella says cynically, dodging a probing strike from her doppelganger's long range weapon:

"Whatever issues I have, I assure you, multiple-personality disorder isn't one of them."

The King doesn't respond – doesn't even react – and Aella finds herself too busy to dwell any more on this latest absurdity, because this enemy is her - not a look-alike which would have been weird enough - someone who thinks exactly like she does, knows her every move and every trick, and most unhelpfully isn't tired or bearing any of the cuts, bruises and occasional fractures compounding her problems.

Five minutes into what feels mostly like a losing fight on her part, and seeing a rare opening in the other's defense, Aella lunges close, thrusting the dagger she is holding below the other's guard, piercing the thin armor right below the ribcage and thrusting upwards, and as she expects her doppelganger crumples to the ground, because that is a fatal injury, and the other doesn't seem to have the gift that protected her.

She doesn't expect the searing pain that cleaves her own chest, though.

She doesn't expect the wet warmth that suddenly is saturating the fabric of the tunic beneath her armor or that suddenly her own legs give out under her. She doesn't expect the blood pooling in the back of her throat and choking off any reply she could have given to the anguished scream of denial she hears as Thor desperately shouts "No!" and runs toward her, apparently no longer held back by the wall of fire that had surrounded her and now has extinguished because it's over…. and she lost.

Aella reasons that she must have miscalculated – that her dark twin must have had the same idea as her and ended with the same killing blow – but as the analytical part of her mind repays the final moments of that fateful conflict, trying to understand what was her mistake, there is no denying that the other had never had the chance to strike – not when the other's weapon is laying just beside her free of any blood before both vanish, not when even if her doppelganger had tried that move, the symbol burned onto her chest would have stopped the blade – and hopeless anger coils within her, because how could this have even been a fair test when it ended in a fight that she could never win, not without herself dying?

Because there is no doubt, not anymore, that any injury she inflicted upon her double also would be shared by her, and apparently even Mjolnir's gift couldn't protect her from that fate.

Even her anger, though, gives way to grief when she looks into Thor's blue eyes, drowning in tears for her imminent demise, even as he desperately refuses to give up on her, not after all this, and sets down Mjolnir by her hand, begging her to reach for it – hoping that it will save her as it once saved him – and she does as he asks, fighting limbs that refuse to cooperate in an effort to lift her hand and rest it on the hammer, thumb wrapping around the handle as her fingers rest on the smooth metal.

As she expected nothing happens.

Even now she can feel the latent hum of energy within it, just beneath her fingertips and yet entirely out of her reach - and the truth is that she never expected it to save her - but she isn't angry, not anymore, because at last she understands.

What to her had seemed, just moments ago, like an unfair hopeless battle, had only ever been a testament to the cruel truth that she and she alone had always been her own worst enemy – and the one enemy she had never been able to overcome.

Aella had glimpsed her true power when she had fought the Destroyer in New Mexico, and in all these years, she could have used that power to help her world, but instead she had hidden, from it and herself.

She had let people around her suffer and die and done nothing to prevent any of it as she well could have, because in an effort to survive, she had been willing to exist, rather than live, unable and unwilling to care for anything or anyone, and it had taken Thor – Thor with his pure heart and noble soul, with his unparalleled love for life and his willingness to give it all for others – to remind her of what it meant to live….. but too late, too late to make up for all those years she had let pass her by.

It was, she supposes a normal enough human reaction to what she'd lived though, but was exactly the problem wasn't it?

In the end she was entirely too human?

After all this, she at last understands what the Allfather had meant when he said as much, and she isn't angry anymore, so instead of the scathing question she had though of earlier, she tries to be at least a little less selfish in her final moments than she has been all these years, whispering to the Thunderer who is gently cradling her close, and weeping for her:

"It's okay Thor…. I don't regret…."

With those words she breaks off, unsure what will be true, because she does regret the pain she has caused him, but she doesn't regret the choices that led her to this understanding of the bitter truth, as much as it has cost her.

She doesn't regret a single second of the time they have had together, and yet she regrets that when she left her planet, she hadn't cared, hadn't realized how much her little wreck of a world meant to her until it is was too late.

Behind Thor, she sees Loki kneel, resting a hand on his brother's shoulder in an effort to give some kind of solace, caring only to try and ease the Thunderer's pain, and she can see in his gaze, glistening with tears too, that his only motive in all of this is the love he feels for his brother, can see that he'd do anything – give anything – just to make Thor smile once again.

And at last, Aella manages a smile, pained and weary, but every bit as heartfelt as one of Thor's, swallowing back a mouthful of blood as she finally finishes, choking out with what feels like her last breath:

"… anything."

Because that at last is true, because what she can see in Loki's eyes is love – love for his brother – too strong to be tainted by anything petty, and if, despite all her mistakes and human failings, her life was worth enough in the end to heal the bond between these two immortals …. she has no regrets.

She lets go – with a final silent prayer that Thor will move on and find happiness with another – no longer needing to fight, and it is in that instant that the latent energy just out of reach beneath her cold numb fingertips reaches out to her, pouring though her like fire - lightning perhaps - in her veins, except that it doesn't hurt.

Aella can't breathe – doesn't need to – can't react as the energy pouring into her has all but paralyzed her, and she can only stare sightlessly into the blinding lighting that has enveloped her – and Thor who is still holding her – until just as suddenly as it came, the lighting is gone, and she doesn't hurt anymore.

She isn't dying anymore.

It feels different though - breathing, thinking…. existing feels different - and it is only when she looks up and sees Thor smiling at her, laughing with relief, when she looks past his shoulder at an incredibly relieved Loki who is standing now and smiling at both of them, that she understands what has happened, that she knows it is over, because by understanding the failings which made her unworthy and accepting her inevitable loss, she had become worthy – and overcome with joy, she reaches up, throwing her arms around the Thunderer, and kisses him for the first time.

...

...

...


End file.
